As he thought on of Lucy all the gloom and ghastliness of that wretched
cottage garret faded away, a pleasant glow of satisfaction came over
him, and he sat there building dreamy castles of a bright and prosperous
kind, and putting Lucy in each, forgetting for the time the poverty of
his practice, his own comparatively hopeless state, and the chances that
she, whom he now owned that he worshipped, would be carried off by some
one more successful in the world.
Did he love Lucy? Yes, he told himself, he was afraid he did--afraid,
for it seemed so hopeless an affair. Did she love him? No, he dared
not think that, but at one time, during the most weary portion of the
watching, he could not help wishing that she might fall ill, and the
duty be his to bring her back to health and strength.
He was angry with himself directly after, though he owned that such a
trouble might fill her with gratitude towards him, and gratitude was a
step towards love.
In the midst of these thoughts Oldroyd made himself more angry still,
for he inadvertently sighed, with the effect of making the women start,
and Judith gaze at him wonderingly. To take off their attention he
softly shifted his seat, and began once more to think of his patient and
his chances of life.
The poor fellow was sleeping easily, and so far there were no signs of
the feverish symptoms that follow wounds.
The night wore on; the candle burned down in the socket, and was
replaced by another, which in its turn burned out, and its successor was
growing short when the twitterings of the birds were heard, and the
ghostly dawn came stealing into that cheerless, whitewashed room, whose
occupants' faces seemed to have taken their hue from the ceiling.
The injured man still slept, and his breathing was low and regular,
encouraged by which the countenances of the women were beginning to lose
their despairing, scared aspect, as they glanced from doctor to patient,
and back again.
At last the cold and pallid light of the room gave place to a warm red
glow, and Oldroyd went softly to the window to see the rising sun,
thinking the while what a dreary life was his, called from his
comfortable home to come some six miles in the dead of the night to such
a ghastly scene as this, and then to sit and watch, his payment probably
the thanks of the poor people he had served.
The east was one glow of orange and gold, and the beauty of the scene,
with the dewy grass and trees glittering in the morning light, chased
away the mental shadows of the night.
"Not so bad a life after all," he said to himself. "Money's very nice,
but a man can't devote his life to greed. What a glorious morning, and
how I should like a cup of tea."
He turned to look at his patient, and found that the woman had gone,
while Judith now asked him in an imploring whisper if there was any
hope.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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