I guessed that she was very beautiful and young; but her forehead and
her eyes were hidden from me by the veil of night; indeed, I could see
nothing very distinctly except the exquisite oval of her lower face,
and her mouth which was parted smilingly. She leaned against the old
flowerless rosebush, almost in its branches. Night came on rapidly. The
girl seemed perfectly at home in the garden; she had come I knew not
from where, for there was no door by which she could have entered; she
appeared to find it as natural to be here as I found it natural to find
her here.
I drew very close in order to get a glimpse of her eyes which puzzled
me; suddenly, in spite of the darkness that became ever thicker, I saw
them very distinctly; they also were smiling like the lips;--and they
were not just any impersonal eyes, such, for instance, as may be found
in a statue representing youth; no, on the contrary they were very
particularly somebody's eyes; more and more they impressed me as
belonging to someone already much beloved whom I, with transports of
infinite joy and tenderness had found again.
I waked from sleep with a start, and as I did so I sought to retain the
phantom being who faded away and became more and more intangible and
unreal, in proportion as my mind grew clearer through the effort it made
to remember. Could it be possible that she was not and had never been
more than a vision? Had nothingness re-engulfed and forever effaced her?
I longed to sleep again so that I might see her; the thought that she
was an illusion, nothing more than the figment of a dream, caused me
great dejection and almost overwhelmed me with hopelessness.
And it took me a very long time to forget her; I loved her, loved her
tenderly, and the thought of her always stirred into life an emotion
that was sweet but sad; and during those moments everything unconnected
with her seemed colorless and worthless. It was love, true love with
all its great melancholy and deep mystery, with its overwhelming but sad
enchantment, love that, like a perfume, endows with a fragrance all it
touches; and that corner of the garden where she had appeared to me
and the old flowerless rosebush that had clasped her in its branches
awakened in me, because of her, agonizing but delicious memories.
CHAPTER LXXVIII.
And again came radiant June. It was evening, the exquisite hour of
twilight. I was alone in my brother's study where I had been for some
time; the window was opened wide to a sky all golden and pink, and I
stood beside it and listened to the martins uttering their shrill cries
as they circled and darted above the old roofs.
No one knew that I was there, and never before had I felt so isolated at
the top of the house, nor more tempted by the unknown.
With a beating heart I opened a volume of De Musset's poems: his Don
Paez.
The first phrases were as musical and rhythmical as if sung by a
seductive golden-voiced siren:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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