"This is Jack Johnson's. There's a dead horse down here by our house an' I want you to come down here an' bury it." Our listener heard the woman's teeth snap together. "All right. I'll get a spade and come right along." "What do they take my husband for," thought Mary. Buzz-z-z-z at her ear again. Now it was her husband's voice saying, "Give me number forty-five." In a minute a gentlemanly voice said, "Hello." "Is this you, Warner?" "Yes." "There's a dead horse down by Jack Johnson's. Go down there and bury it." "All right, Doc. I'll be right along." A burst of laughter from the doctor was echoed by Warner. Mary knew that Warner was the newly elected alderman and she smiled as she pictured the new officer leaving his elegant home and going down to perform the obsequies. Nevertheless her heart leaned toward Jack Johnson's wife, for it was plain to be seen that neither the new president of the board of health nor the new alderman had a realizing sense of his duties. Half an hour later three rings sounded. "Is this Dr. Blank's office?" "No, his residence." "Well, I see by the paper he's on the board of health and we want this manure-pile taken away from here." "Please 'phone your complaints to the doctor," said Mary, calmly replacing the receiver and shutting off the flood. "John's existence will be made miserable by this new honor thrust upon him," she thought. When he came home that evening she asked if the second complainant had found him. "Yes, she found me all right." "They're going to make day hideous and night lamented, aren't they?" "O, no. I'll just have a little fun and then send someone to look after their complaints." Just before bed-time the doctor was called to the 'phone. "Doctor, this is the nurse at the hotel. What had I better do with this Polish girl's hand?" "Doesn't it look all right?" "Yes, it's doing fine." "Just let it alone, then." "She won't be satisfied. She thinks we ought to be doing something to it. And I've got to do something or she'll go off upstairs and wash it in dirty water." "Tell her not to do anything of the kind." "She can't understand a word I say and I don't know what to do with her. She's had the bandage off once already." "The devil she has! Well, then you'll have to unwrap it, I guess, and pretend to do something. But it would be better to let it alone." "I know that." "How is the other patient tonight?" "Doing fine, Doctor." "Good! Good-bye." * * * * *