The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His WifeFirebaugh, Ellen M.
General
The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife
Firebaugh, Ellen M.
Physicians -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor
"I've found that out. Can you get him awake?" Sharp impatience was in
the man's voice.
"Hold the 'phone a minute, please, and I'll rouse him."
She went into the bedroom and calling, "John! John!" shook him soundly
by the shoulders. He sat up in bed with a wild look.
"Go to the 'phone, quick!" commanded Mary.
"Eh?"
"Go to the _'phone_. It's been ringing like fury. Hurry."
At last he was there and his wife knew by his questions and answers that
he would be out for the rest of the night. She crept into bed. After he
was gone she would go upstairs. When he was dressed he came to the door
and peered in.
"That's right, Mary," he said, with such hearty satisfaction in his
tones that she answered cheerfully, "All right--I'll stay this time."
And when he was gone she turned her face from the moonlit window and
slept till morning, oblivious to the thieves and murderers that did not
come.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Is the doctor there?"
"He was called out awhile ago; will be back in perhaps twenty minutes."
"This is Mr. Cowan. I only wanted to ask if my wife could have some
lemonade this morning. She is very thirsty and craves it--but I can call
again after awhile."
How discouraging to the feverish, thirsty wife to have her husband come
back and tell her he would 'phone again after awhile. And if, after
waiting, he still failed to find the doctor? Mary knew the Cowans quite
well so she made bold to say, hastily, "I think the doctor would say
_yes_."
"You think he would?" asked Mr. Cowan, hopefully.
"I think he would, but don't let her have too much, of course."
"All right. Thank you, Mrs. Blank."
An uneasy feeling came into Mary's mind and would not depart as she went
about her work. Really, what right had she to prescribe for a sick woman
even so harmless a thing as lemonade. How did she know that it was
harmless. Perhaps in this case there was some combination of symptoms
which would make that very thing the thing the patient ought not to
have.
In about fifteen minutes there came a ring--three. Mary started
guiltily. It sounded like the doctor's ring. Was he going to reprimand
her? But it was the voice of a friend and it surprised Mary with this
question:
"Mrs. Blank, if you were me would you have your daughter operated upon?"
"Operated upon for what?"
"For appendicitis."
"Nettie, let me tell you something: if I had no more sense than to give
you advice on such a question as that, I certainly hope you would have
more sense than to take it. Advice about a thing with no sort of
knowledge of that thing is as worthless as it is common."
"Why--I thought since you are a doctor's wife you would know about it."
"Can you draw up a legal will because you happen to be the wife of a
lawyer?"
"No-o, but--"
"But me no buts," quoth Mary. "We're even now."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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