The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His WifeFirebaugh, Ellen M.
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The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife
Firebaugh, Ellen M.
Physicians -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor
"Why John," interposed Mary from the bedroom, "She called you first."
"It will be about half an hour before I can get there..... All right,
I'll be there."
Then Mary remembered that No. 2 was the hurry call and was silent. When
the doctor was gone she fell asleep but only for two minutes.
She went to answer the call. "Has the doctor started yet?"
"Yes, he is on his way."
"All right then," and the relief in the tone was a pleasant thing to
hear.
"Now, if I go to sleep again I can feel no security from No. 1 or No. 3
or both." Nevertheless she did go to sleep and neither No. 1 nor No. 3
called her out of it.
* * * * *
"I must be going," said Mary, rising from her chair in a neighbor's
house.
"Have you something special on hand?" asked her neighbor.
"Yes, it's clock-winding day at our house, for one thing."
"Why, how many clocks do you have to wind?" inquired the little old lady
with mild surprise.
"Only one, thank heaven!" ejaculated Mary as she departed.
When she had sped across the yard and entered her own door she threw off
her shawl and made ready to wind the clock. First, she turned off the
gas in the grate so that her skirts would not catch fire. Second, she
brought a chair and set it on the hearth in front of the grate. Third,
she went into the next room and got the big unabridged dictionary,
brought it out and put it on the chair. Fourth, she went back and got
the oldest and thickest Family Bible and the fat Bible Dictionary,
brought them out and deposited them on the unabridged. Fifth, she
mounted the chair. Sixth, she mounted the volumes--which brought her up
to the height she was seeking to attain. Seventh, she wound the clock;
that is, she usually did. Today, when she had inserted the key and
turned it twice round--the 'phone rang. Oh, dear! Thank goodness it
stopped at two rings. She would take it for granted the doctor was in
the office. She wound on. Then she took the key out and inserted it on
the opposite side. A second peal. That settled it. If it were a lawyer's
or a merchant's or any other man's 'phone she could wind the other side
first--but the doctor's is in the imperative mood and the present tense.
She must descend. Slowly and cautiously she did so, went to the 'phone
and put the receiver to her ear.
"Hello, is this Dr. Blank's office?"
"This is his--"
"Hello, what is it?" said her husband's voice. "Now why couldn't he have
come a minute sooner," thought Mary, provoked.
"Doctor," said an agitated voice, "my little boy has swallowed a penny."
"Was it a good one?" inquired the doctor, calmly.
"Why--ye-es," said the voice, broken with a laugh, "guess it was."
"Just let him alone. It will be all right after awhile."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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