The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His WifeFirebaugh, Ellen M.
General
The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife
Firebaugh, Ellen M.
Physicians -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor
"No. I haven't the slightest idea."
"Why didn't you find out," he asked, sharply. Mary arched her brows.
"Suppose _you_ find out."
John rang central. With twinkling eyes his wife listened.
"Hello, central. Who was calling Dr. Blank a while ago?"
"A good many people call, Dr. Blank. I really cannot say."
The voice was icily regular, splendidly null. It nettled the doctor.
"Suppose you try to find out."
"People who need a doctor ought to be as much interested as we are. I
don't know who it was." And the receiver went up.
"Damned impudence!" said the doctor, slamming up his receiver and facing
about.
"Wait, John. That girl has had to run down the woman with the sick baby.
She didn't give _her_ name either. Central had lots of trouble in
finding her. It's small wonder she rebelled when I came at her the
second time. So all I could do was to deliver the message just as it
came, 'Tell the doctor to come down to our house and to be here at nine
o'clock.'"
"Consultation, I suppose. They'll ring again pretty soon, I dare say,
and want to know why I don't hurry up."
But nothing further was heard from the message or the messenger that
night or ever after.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
Can we move Henry out into the yard? It's so hot inside.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
Can we move Jennie into the house? It gets pretty cold along toward
morning.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
Doctor, you know those pink tablets you left? I forget just how you said
to take 'em.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
The baby's throwing up like everything.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
Johnny's swallowed a nickel!.... You say it won't?.... And not give him
anything at all? Well, I needn't have been so scared, then.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
The baby pulled the cat's tail and she scratched her in the face. I'm
afraid she's put her eye out..... No, the _baby's_ eye. I'm afraid she
can't see..... No, she's not crying. She's going to sleep..... Well, I
guess she _can't_ see very well with her eyes shut..... Then you won't
come down?.... All right, Doctor, you know best.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Is this the doctor?"
"Yes."
"The baby has a cold and I rubbed her chest with vaseline and greased
her nose. Is that all right?"
"All right."
"And I am going to make her some onion syrup, if I can remember how it's
made. How do you make it?"
"Why--O, _you_ remember how to make it."
The truth is the doctor was not profoundly learned in some of the "home
remedies" and was more helpless than the little mother herself, which
she did not suspect.
"You slice the onions and put sugar on them, don't you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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