Dolff would have seemed to these ladies a good match. A young man who
was at Oxford, who was going in for the Bar, whose mother was so well
off, and all the money his, though not to be inherited till he was
twenty-five. What was Janet thinking of? they would say. What did she
expect? Had she another string to her bow that she was so careless of
this? And how could she tell that she would ever have another offer?
She, a governess, with nothing to fall back upon, and no resource but to
go from one place to another, so long as she pleased her employers or
was wanted. Even Mrs. Bland, though she was so kind, would say the same
thing. What did Janet expect?
She did not, as will be seen, fling off this new opening of fortune as
she flung off Dr. Harding. To get herself provided for, established in
life all at once, she knew now that this was something. And she
reflected with a kind of pride on the triumph of concluding such a
matter at once while the story of Gussy and Meredith still dragged
along, and in showing _him_ that while he lingered and amused himself
another made up his mind.
These ideas fluttered about, now one of them, now another, alighting
upon the surface of her thoughts like snowflakes. The opposite arguments
did not come in the same manner, probably because it was the opposite
she held by, and they stood around her like fortifications round a
citadel. It was the others, the temptations, which fluttered about her,
and went and came.
“If Dolff should ask you----” To marry Dolff! “Oh, never,” cried Janet
to herself; “oh, no, no,” with a keen conviction that it was impossible.
And then the temptations began to flutter about like snow. It was a
serious thing to throw away for no reason--for no particular reason--a
good offer, a good house like this, a good income, and all that is
certain in life. And then, again, on the other hand--Janet lingered in
the garden when Julia ran indoors, saying she would follow instantly.
She knew that Dolff was safely disposed of--that he could not come to
trouble her, and a moment of solitude was delightful. She walked very
quickly under the trees making the round. To be, or not to be? Oh, no;
it was not so deep a question as that. To marry, or not to marry. Janet
was well aware throughout that it was a foregone conclusion, and that
nothing would really tempt her to marry Dolff: but she let her thoughts
flutter about her, and pretended to discuss the question--not, however,
with much faith in her own thoughts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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