The night of the ball arrived at last. It was a long time in coming to
the impatience of Dolff and Julia: and even to Gussy, who was not
impatient, who would rather have held it off a little when the day at
last came, and to whom so many things were involved in the hours which
would be but amusement to the rest. Nobody suspected what was going on
under Gussy’s tranquil looks. She was one of those people whom many
think to be incapable of feeling at all. She had a force of resolution
not to expose herself, not to let anybody know what she endured, which
was equal to almost any trial. There are many women who possess this
power, but it is most frequently exercised to shield and cover the
delinquencies of others. Gussy’s reticence was only for herself; but
strength of any kind is respectable; and if any one had known the fever
that was in her breast, the chance upon which the fortune of her life
seemed to turn, and the absolute tranquillity with which, to all
appearance, she prepared for the evening’s pleasure, no doubt she would
have earned the admiration of some and the respect of others.
But our best qualities, as well as our worst, remain for the most part
blank to those who surround us, and nobody suspected either the trouble
in which Miss Harwood was, or the empire she exercised over her own
soul. Janet, perhaps, was the only member of the party who was in the
least degree cognizant of it, but even Janet was chiefly aware, with a
feeling of provoked sympathy, that Gussy, as she generally did, had
dressed herself unbecomingly on an occasion on which the little,
quick-witted governess divined she would have wished to look her best.
Gussy was not clever in the matter of dress. She arrayed herself in the
lightest of tints and materials--she who was herself so colorless, who
wanted something solid and distinct “to throw her up.”
Janet had done her duty in this respect by the other young woman, who
could scarcely now be called her friend, so conscious were both of a
mist that had come between them. It was one of Janet’s good qualities
that she had no jealous feeling, but that unfeigned pleasure in dress
which made her so anxious to see everybody else becomingly attired, that
she was impatient of failure. She had given many hints and suggestions
as to Miss Harwood’s dress on this particular occasion, but they had not
been attended to. And Gussy had enveloped herself in something that was
not quite white nor yet any other color, with the persistency common to
persons who are without any real instinct in the matter; and, instead of
looking her best, looked more colorless than usual.
Janet could scarcely restrain a cry of impatience when they all met in
the drawing-room, which had been cleared for dancing. If Gussy had but
worn her own black gown, what a difference it would have made! But Gussy
was altogether unconscious of that, as all the others were unconscious
of the way in which her heart was beating under her _fade_ and foolish
dress.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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