Gussy, who was not poetical, still less _précieuse_, who was indeed a
very matter-of-fact and most sensible person, would have been like the
foolish Cathon and Madelon, quite pleased with the _pays du tendre_, so
long as her lover had led her with a faithful hand into that enchanted
country. She did not insist upon the new establishment, the immediate
conclusion. She only wanted him to say frankly half-a-dozen words, and
so to bind them together forever. It was half an injury to her that he
should feel it necessary to wait for such a practical reason. Did he
think that her love was a less thing than her word, and that so long as
she had not audibly pledged that, she was free? Did he think himself
free because he had not said to her, “Be my wife!”
These questions flitted through Gussy’s mind, drifting across the sky
like clouds, throughout the day. She shook her head at the vanity and
shortsightedness of the thought. She free, when she loved him! Would a
mere promise bind her more than the devotion of her whole being? And
then there came a cold shiver over Gussy’s heart. Did he think perhaps
that _he_ was free so long as he had made no promise--that all the
silent fascination which bound them together and the link that had been
growing for years, and which he had woven by so many tender words and
looks and fond regards, was nothing, so long as no pledge had been given
or received?
Gussy would not allow herself to think this. She shook her head over the
defects in men, the absence of a finer feeling, the want of that
intuition which everybody said women possessed in a higher degree. He
could not see that there was a more delicate honor in avowal than in
silence. It was strange, but she was obliged to conclude that this was
how men felt, and that they did not understand.
Gussy was also a little cast down, ashamed, almost humbled, by the
thought that he was in no such doubt of her sentiments as she was of
his. But, then, she asked herself--for such a problem awakens
metaphysical tendencies in the most simple mind--whether perhaps her
doubt of him was not as much the weakness of the woman’s point of view
as his reticence was of the man’s? Perhaps it had never entered into his
mind that she could doubt him after all that had come and gone. Perhaps
he felt the bond between them to be so assured and true that no
declaration could make it stronger. Perhaps, just as he did not
understand her, she did not understand him, and exemplified the woman’s
deficiency just as he exemplified the man’s. This thought sufficed to
clear Gussy’s brow for the whole afternoon.
She told her mother, who was very eager for news, and had also expected
much from the dance, that Charley had been talking about his profession,
and that he was now really getting on, and felt, he believed, the ball
at his feet.
“He thinks that in another year or so he will be able to think of a
house of his own,” said Gussy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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