How the lessons were got through it would have been difficult for Janet
to tell. As it happened, in the afternoon things arranged themselves for
her in the most wonderful way so as to leave her free. Julia went out
with Gussy to another tea-party, which was a thing she detested, and an
old friend of Mrs. Harwood’s came to call. The old lady liked to be left
alone with her visitor when it was an old friend, so that Janet had
perfect command of her time. It seemed done on purpose, she thought, by
some spirit opposed to good resolutions, for she had thought that she
could not, must not go. She would not, it was treachery to her present
home, it was undignified on her own part, obeying a call which was
really a careless command, which was given as if it would be beyond her
power to resist it. She would not go!
But then came the other side of the question. It might, he had said, be
very important to him to get the clue, and he had found it. He would
wait for her, and be terribly disappointed when she did not come. He
might have some other important question to ask her, something in which
she could give him real help. The woman who deliberates is lost. After a
great deal of self-discussion, Janet put on her hat hastily, as if by
stealth, and went out. It was half dark already, though it was not four
o’clock. It occurred to her vaguely that it was a happiness she could
scarcely have anticipated not to have Dolff on her hands, who was almost
always waiting for the opportunity of falling upon her. But she had
scarcely seen Dolff all day.
If ever man spent a miserable day it was Dolff upon this occasion, when
all his faculties were roused to watch the girl whom he had thought so
perfect. Poor boy, his mind was full of the most dolorous conflict. He
was angry, jealous, wretched, longing to go down on his knees to ask her
what the letter meant, to implore her to tell him that it was all right
and there was no harm in it, yet not daring to betray that he knew
anything at all, or that he had any suspicions, and all the time
declaring to himself that he was a brute to suspect her that could do no
wrong. If she was wronging anyone it was not him, to whom she had never
given any hearing, but Gussy. And Dolff’s mind waxed fierce at the
thought of the other, the man who was Gussy’s lover, yet had dared to
write to Janet. Sometimes it gleamed upon him that there might be
nothing wrong in Meredith’s letter to Janet, that it might be some
question, something of no importance: but it was very hard for him to
believe that there was nothing in it, and the desire in Dolff’s heart
was to take the fellow by the throat, to knock him down, to kick him, to
annihilate him. It was his fault. If Janet was in the wrong, it was he
that had beguiled her and led her away.
“Let me but get my hands on the fellow!” Dolff said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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