It was strange that it should be Gussy, who was not ideal or visionary,
but very matter-of-fact in all her ways, who was the most cruelly
offended and wounded by the events of this night. It seemed to Gussy
that she had been deceived and played upon by everybody. By her mother,
who had never confided to her the gravity of the position, though she
had known the fact for years; by Meredith, who had seemed to know more
of it than Gussy did, and whose eyes had been keen with understanding,
following every word of what was to Gussy merely the ravings without
consequence of a madman; he knew more of it than she did, who had helped
to take care of the secret inmate. And then Dolff, her brother. What was
the meaning of this cloud of tempest which had come into Dolff’s
trivial, schoolboyish life? Why had he tried to kill, if that was what
he wanted, or, at least, to injure, to assault Meredith?
It was all a mystery to Gussy. She understood nothing except that many
things had been going on in the house which she either did not know at
all or knew imperfectly--that she had been possibly made a dupe of,
brought down from the position which she had seemed to hold of right as
the chief influence in the family. She had thought this was how it was:
her mother’s confidant, the nurse and guardian-angel of her lover, the
controller, more or less, of all the house. And it turned out that she
knew nothing, that there were all kinds of passions and mysteries in her
own home with which she was unacquainted, that what she knew she knew
imperfectly, and that even in the confidences given to her she had been
kept in the dark.
Gussy was not imaginative, and consequently had little power of entering
into the feelings or divining the movements of the minds of others. She
was wounded, mortified to the depths of her heart, and angry, with a
deep, silent anger not easily to be overcome. She did not linger nor ask
for explanations, but went straight up to her room without a moment’s
pause, careless that both her mother, whom she generally attended
through the troublesome process of undressing, and Julia, whom she
usually held under such strict authority, were left behind, the latter
in contempt of all ordinary hours. Janet, whose charge that was, was not
visible; she had stolen away, as it had lately been her habit to do.
Janet, Gussy felt sure, was mixed up in it too; but how was she mixed up
in it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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