She it was who took the lead in the conversation till Gussy retired. She
talked to Meredith and a little to Janet, whom this curious aspect of
the family interested greatly, though she did not quite understand it.
But Gussy and Dolff both sat bolt upright and said nothing. They ate
nothing, too, which, perhaps, was a more effectual weapon against their
mother’s heart, and, when luncheon was over, they separated gloomily,
Dolff disappearing no one knew where, Gussy to her room, where she said
she had something to do while Mrs. Harwood retired with Meredith,
between whom and herself a curious intimacy seemed to have struck up, to
the dining-room, his room as it was called, to talk there.
In this universal gloom and strangeness Julia drew Janet out into the
garden. The day grew darker as it approached its end, the atmosphere
became more yellow, signs as of a fog appeared in the air. The governess
and the pupil put on their ulsters, and began to walk up and down the
garden walks, Julia hanging with all her might upon the arm of her
companion, dragging down Janet almost to the ground.
“Did you ever know,” Julia said, “such a detestable day?”
“It is turning to fog,” said Janet, trying to keep to what was
commonplace. “It was better that we did not go out.”
“Oh, was I thinking of the fog?” said Julia. “I would rather see a dozen
fogs than Gussy shut up like that, pursing up her lips as if she were
afraid something would drop out when she spoke. And poor Dolff, so
dismal, not knowing what to do with himself. Janet, do you think there
could be any truth in all that story about Dolff?”
“My dear,” said Janet, “how should I have any opinion? I cannot be
supposed to know about your brother, what he is likely to do.”
“Oh,” said Julia, “I did not ask you what you know, but what you
_think_; everybody must have an opinion. Besides, after all, it is not
so very little that you know about Dolff. He has been at home for six
weeks, and you have always seen a great deal of him; at least I am sure
he has always tried to see as much as he could of you.”
“I think,” said Janet, “that it is very bad taste for us to discuss
people, especially for you to talk with me about your own family. You
forget that I am the governess, Julia.”
“I think you are very nasty, and not nice at all. Whoever thinks of you
as the governess! I wonder what you mean, saying such unkind things.”
“They are not unkind, they are true. Your mother and Gussy have been
very good to me, but----”
“Oh, Janet, when you know we were very fond of you, and we thought you
were fond of us!”
Here Janet was suddenly visited by a great compunction which changed at
once her countenance and her feelings.
“Julia,” she said, “don’t speak to me. I feel so horrible sometimes, I
don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t think I am nice or good at
all. Perhaps,” she added with a faint revulsion of self-defence after
this impulsive confession, “it is not quite my fault.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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