But the younger ones were not moved by this influence. They were the
more dissatisfied with their mother’s defence, because Meredith had
chimed in, to put arguments into her mouth when she was about, as they
believed, to break down. Had she been permitted to break down, a more
full explanation might have been had, and the children might then have
forgiven their mother; but, as it was, there had been too much and not
enough. An insufficient explanation is the most painful of family
misfortunes. It gives a sense of falsehood and insincerity to the mind.
When you do not explain at all, it is possible you may be innocent: but
when you explain profusely, dwelling upon some sides of the matter while
ignoring others, you must be guilty: and the impression left is all the
more unhappy and unsatisfactory that it is in its way definitive and
final, and all are precluded from opening up the subject again. Unless
some new incident took place, or some accident which disturbed the
family laws, Dolff could not ask any more questions. He was too young to
know what to do, too proud and shame-faced to hazard the credit of the
family by making inquiries in other quarters. An uneasy sense that
everything was different, that his own position and that of everybody
else was changed, that he was no longer sure of the ground on which he
stood, or the relations of those around him, was in Dolff’s mind. It
must make a difference that his father was alive, even though that
father was a madman: and vague notions came into his painfully exercised
brain--ideas half seen, uncomprehended, of some sense in which his
mother might have done what she had done for their sakes, although she
had professed in the same breath that it was for her husband’s sake she
had done it, that he might not be shut up away from her. Julia, on the
other hand who was much more sharp-witted than Dolff, had seized like
lightning upon this inconsistency, and could not forget it.
“She said it was for him and then she said it was for us,” cried the
girl. “How could it be for us when it was for him? It could not be
supposed good for us that there should have been some one shut up there
in the wing, and when we might have found it out any day.”
“I never found it out nor thought of it,” said Dolff. “If I had been
told of it I should not have believed it. I should have said my mother
was the last person in the world for mysteries--the very last person in
the world--and that everything in this house was honest and
above-board.”
“I never thought like that,” said Julia, shaking her head. “There was
always something queer. Vicars, that was our servant, and yet not our
servant, and that cry that one heard----”
“What cry?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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