It was four o'clock in the afternoon on the following day, when I
presented myself at the hotel on the Boulevard de Latour-Maubourg. I
knew that my mother would most probably be out. I also thought it likely
my stepfather would be feeling none the better of his early excursion to
the Grand Hotel on the previous day, and I therefore hoped to find him
at home, perhaps in his bed. I was right; my mother was out, and he had
remained at home. He was in his study, the room in which our first
explanation had taken place. That upon which I was now bent was of far
greater importance, and yet I was less agitated than on the former
occasion. At last I was completely certain of the facts, and with that
certainty a strange calmness had come to me. I can recall my having
talked for a few moments with the servant who announced me, about a
child of his who was ill. I also remember to have observed for the first
time that the smoky chimney of some manufacturing works at the back of
the garden, built, no doubt, during the last winter, was visible through
the window of the staircase. I record these things because I am bound to
recognise that my mind was quite clear and free--for I will be sincere
to the end--when I entered the spacious room. My stepfather was
reclining in a deep arm-chair at the far side of the fireplace, and
occupied in cutting the pages of a new book with a dagger. The blade of
this weapon was broad, short, and strong. He had brought the knife back
from Spain, with several other kinds of arms, which lay about in the
rooms he habitually occupied. I now understood the order of ideas which
this singular taste indicated. He was dressed for walking; but his
altered looks bore witness to the intensity of the crisis through which
he had passed. It had affected his whole being. Very likely my face was
expressive of an extraordinary resolution, for I saw by his eyes as our
looks met, that he had read the depths of my thoughts at a glance.
Nevertheless, he said: "Ah, is it you, André? It is very kind of you to
come," thus exhibiting once more the power of his self-control, and he
put out his hand. I did not take it, and my refusal, contrasting with
his gesture of welcome, the silence which I kept for some minutes, the
contraction of my features, and, no doubt, the menace in my eyes,
entirely enlightened him as to the mood in which I came to him. Very
quietly, he laid down his book and the Spanish knife he had been using,
on a large table within his reach, and then he rose from his chair,
leaned his back against the mantelpiece, and crossing his arms, looked
at me with the haughty stare I knew so well, and which had so often
humiliated me in my boyhood. I was the first to break the silence;
replying to his polite greeting in a harsh tone, and looking him
straight in the face, I said:
"The time of lies is past. You have guessed that I know all?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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