then, he was subject to causeless fits of depression, prolonged spells
of silence. I did not venture to question him. You take after him in
this, my poor André."
She continued to speak of his mysterious death:
"I wept so much for it," she said, "and I have since thought so much of
it. Your father had not an enemy; his life was too upright for that. My
conviction is that the assassin reckoned on his taking a large sum of
money with him; bear in mind that we do not know what your father had in
his note-case. Ah, my André, you little know what I went through. That
was the time when I learned who were my true friends." She spoke of M.
Termonde, and the proofs of friendship he had given her. I was not angry
with her, because she did not understand that she could not say his name
at that moment without inflicting a wound upon me. Once set going upon
the road of reminiscence, what should check her? Why should she scruple
to speak to me of her second marriage and the consolation it had brought
her? Of course it was terribly sad for me to listen to these
confidences, which formed the cruel counterpart of those contained in my
father's letters to my aunt. But, sorrowful as it was to sound the
depths of the gulf which had separated those two beloved beings, what
was this in comparison with the tragic idea that had assailed me?
Throughout the long winter's evening I listened to my mother as she
talked to me, with the sweet, blessed certainty that never again could
my monstrous suspicions recur to my mind. My father's letters were fully
explained; he had been profoundly jealous of his wife, and he had never
dared to avow that jealousy. It arose from a moral influence of which
the person over whom it was exercised was probably ignorant. No, the
gentle creature who related all this past history to me with such frank
clear eyes, so sweet a voice, such ingenuousness in the acknowledgment
of her mistakes, such evident, all-pervading sincerity, must either have
been entirely innocent of the suffering she inflicted, or else she must
now be a monster of hypocrisy. At all events, I never thought that of
you, O my mother! weak but good woman as you were, capable indeed of
passing by pain unnoticed, but quite incapable of wilfully inflicting
it, and since that evening my faith in you has never been assailed. No
impious doubt crossed my mind from thenceforth, during the night which
followed this interview, or the day after, which was that of the
funeral, or when my mother had left me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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