"No-o-o!" shouted the conductor. "That wasn't it. I mean clost ter' Arfmoon Street, when they was just going off." "Oh, ah, yes; I remember now." "See the old buffer shy the shoe outer the front winder?" "No-o-o!" "He did, and it 'it one o' the post-boys slap in the eye. Old boy had been having too much champagne." "Did it though?" "Yes. I say, Bill." "Hal-low!" "It's the right card to have champagne on your wedding morning, ain't it?" "Ah! some people stands it quite lib'ral like, if they're nobs; them as ain't, draws it old and mild." I had another nudge from Revitts just then, and sat feeling as if I should like to jump down and run away. "Drop o' Smith's cool out o' the cellar wouldn't be amiss, Joey, would it?" "No, old man. I wish we could fall across a wedding-party." A passenger or two were picked up, and we went on in peace for a little while: but the chaffing was commenced again, and kept up to such an extent that I longed for the journey to be at an end. "'Member Jack Jones?" said the driver. "Ah! what about him?" said the conductor. "He went and got married last year." "Did he?" "Yes." "Who did he marry?" "That there Mrs Simmons as kep' the `Queen's Arms' at Tunnum Green." "Ah!" "Nice job he made of it." "Did he?" "Yes; he thought she was a widder." "Well, warn't she?" "No; she turned out a big-a-mee; and one day her fust husban' comes back from 'Stralia, and kicks Jack Jones out, and takes his place; and when Jack 'peals against it, Mrs Simmons says it was all a mistake." "That was warm for Jack, wasn't it?" "Hot, I say." "Well," said the conductor; "when I makes up my mind again, and the parsons ain't so busy, I shall have the missus cross-examined." "What for, Joey?" "So as to see as she ain't a big-a-mee." Revitts, who was drinking all this in, looked very serious here, as if the conversation was tending towards official matters. Perhaps it occurred to him that he had not cross-examined Mary before he was married; but he began to smile again soon after, for the conductor took a very battered old copper key-bugle from a basket on the roof, and, after a few preliminary toots, began to rattle off "The Wedding-Day." The driver shook the reins, the four horses broke into a canter, and as we swept past the green hedgerows and market-gardens, with here and there a pretty villa, I began to enjoy the ride, longing all the same, though, for Revitts and Mary to begin to talk, instead of smiling at each other in such a horribly happy way, and indulging in what was meant for a secret squeeze of the hand, but which was, however, generally seen by half the passengers. The air coming to an end, and the bugle being duly drained, wiped, and returned to its basket, the driver turned his head again: "Nice toon that, Joey." "Like it?" "Ah, I was going to say `hangcore,' on'y we're so clost to Richmond. What was it--`Weddin' Day'?" "That's right, old man." "Ah! thought it was."