“Anna,” said the captain’s wife, “I have said to God: ‘Let Death come
and take away my son, let him take away him I love most, and only tears
of joy shall come to my eyes; with nuptial pomp I will follow him to his
grave, and my red rose-bush, which stands outside my chamber-window,
will I move to him in the graveyard.’ And now it has come to pass my
son is dead. I have greeted Death like a friend, called him by the
tenderest names; I have wept tears of joy over my son’s dead face, and in
the autumn, when the leaves are fallen, I shall plant my red rose-bush
here. But do you know, you who sit here at my side, why I have sent such
prayers to God?”
She looked questioningly at Anna Stjärnhök; but the girl sat silent and
pale beside her. Perhaps she was struggling to silence inward voices
which already there, on the grave of the dead, began to whisper to her
that now at last she was free.
“The fault is yours,” said the captain’s wife.
The girl sank down as from a blow. She did not answer a word.
“Anna Stjärnhök, you were once proud and self-willed: you played with my
son, took him and cast him off. But what of that? He had to accept it, as
well as another. Perhaps too he and we all loved your money as much as
you. But you came back, you came with a blessing to our home; you were
gentle and mild, strong and kind, when you came again. You cherished us
with love; you made us so happy, Anna Stjärnhök; and we poor people lay
at your feet.
“And yet, and yet I have wished that you had not come. Then had I not
needed to pray to God to shorten my son’s life. At Christmas he could
have borne to lose you, but after he had learnt to know you, such as you
now are, he would not have had the strength.
“You know, Anna Stjärnhök, who to-day have put on your bridal dress to
follow my son, that if he had lived you would never have followed him in
that attire to the Bro church, for you did not love him.
“I saw that you only came out of pity, for you wanted to relieve our hard
lot. You did not love him. Do you not think that I know love, that I see
it, when it is there, and understand when it is lacking. Then I thought:
‘May God take my son’s life before he has his eyes opened!’
“Oh, if you had loved him! Oh, if you had never come to us and sweetened
our lives, when you did not love him! I knew my duty: if he had not died,
I should have been forced to tell him that you did not love him, that
you were marrying him out of pity. I must have made him set you free,
and then his life’s happiness would have been gone. That is why I prayed
to God that he might die, that I should not need to disturb the peace of
his heart. And I have rejoiced over his sunken cheeks, exulted over his
rattling breath, trembled lest Death should not complete his work.”
She stopped speaking, and waited for an answer; but Anna Stjärnhök could
not speak, she was still listening to the many voices in her soul.
Then the mother cried out in despair:—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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