There was something about her which made every one on the farm kind to
her. She had come to a good place. The people were serious and reticent.
Her mistress liked her; when she discovered that she could weave, they
borrowed a loom from the vicarage, and the child’s mother worked at it
the whole summer.
It never occurred to any one that she needed to be spared; she had to
work like a peasant girl the whole time. She liked too to have much
work. She was not unhappy. Life among the peasants pleased her, although
she lacked all her accustomed conveniences. But everything was taken so
simply and quietly there. Every one’s thoughts were on his or her work;
the days passed so uniform and monotonous that one mistook the day and
thought it was the middle of the week when Sunday came.
One day at the end of August there had been haste with the oat crop, and
the child’s mother had gone out with the others to bind the sheaves. She
had strained herself, and the child had been born, but too soon. She had
expected it in October.
Now the farmer’s wife stood with the child in the living room to warm it
by the fire, for the poor little thing was shivering in the August heat.
The child’s mother lay in a room beyond and listened to what they said
of the little one. She could imagine how the men and maids came up and
looked at him.
“Such a poor little thing,” they all said, and then followed always,
without fail:—
“Poor little thing, with no father!”
They did not complain of the child’s crying: they thought a child needed
to cry; and, when everything was considered, the child was strong for its
age; had it but a father, all would have been well.
The mother lay and listened and wondered. The matter suddenly seemed to
her incredibly important. How would he get through life, the poor little
thing?
She had made her plans before. She would remain at the farm-house the
first year. Then she would hire a room and earn her bread at the loom.
She meant to earn enough to feed and clothe the child. Her husband could
continue to believe that she was unworthy. She had thought that the child
perhaps would be a better man if she alone brought it up, than if a
stupid and conceited father should guide it.
But now, since the child was born, she could not see the matter in the
same way. Now she thought that she had been selfish. “The child must have
a father,” she said to herself.
If he had not been such a pitiful little thing, if he had been able to
eat and sleep like other children, if his head had not always sunk down
on one shoulder, and if he had not so nearly died when the attack of
cramp came, it would not have been so important.
It was not so easy to decide, but decide she must immediately. The child
was three days old, and the peasants in Värmland seldom wait longer to
have the child baptized. Under what name should the baby be entered in
the church-register, and what would the clergyman want to know about the
child’s mother?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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