“The time has come, Gilbert,” she said at last, “when our love for each
other must no longer be kept a secret--at least from the few who, under
other circumstances, would have a right to know it. We must still wait,
though no longer (remember that!) than we were already agreed to wait;
but we should betray ourselves, sooner or later, and then the secret,
discovered by others, would seem to hint at a sense of shame. We shall
gain respect and sympathy, and perhaps help, if we reveal it ourselves.
Even if you do not take the same view, Gilbert, think of this, that it
is my place to stand beside you in your hour of difficulty and trial;
that other losses, other dangers, may come, and you could not, you must
not, hold me apart when my heart tells me we should be together!”
She laid her arms caressingly over his shoulders, and looked in his
face. A wonderful softness and tenderness touched his pale, worn
countenance. “Martha,” he said, “remember that my disgrace will cover
you, yet awhile.”
“Gilbert!”
That one word, proud, passionate, reproachful, yet forgiving, sealed his
lips.
“So be it!” he cried. “God knows, I think but of you. If I selfishly
considered myself, do you think I would hold back my own honor?”
“A poor honor,” she said, “that I sit comfortably at home and love you,
while you are face to face with death!”
Martha Deane's resolution was inflexibly taken. That same evening she
went into the sitting-room, where her father was smoking a pipe before
the open stove, and placed her chair opposite to his.
“Father,” she said, “thee has never asked any questions concerning
Alfred Barton's visit.”
The Doctor started, and looked at her keenly, before replying. Her voice
had its simple, natural tone, her manner was calm and self-possessed;
yet something in her firm, erect posture and steady eye impressed him
with the idea that she had determined on a full and final discussion of
the question.
“No, child,” he answered, after a pause. “I saw Alfred, and he said thee
was rather taken by surprise. He thought, perhaps, thee didn't rightly
know thy own mind, and it would be better to wait a little. That is the
chief reason why I haven't spoken to thee.”
“If Alfred Barton said that, he told thee false,” said she. “I knew my
own mind, as well then as now. I said to him that nothing could ever
make me his wife.”
“Martha!” the Doctor exclaimed, “don't be hasty! If Alfred is a little
older”--
“Father!” she interrupted, “never mention this thing again! Thee can
neither give me away, nor sell me; though I am a woman, I belong to
myself. Thee knows I'm not hasty in anything. It was a long time before
I rightly knew my own heart; but when I did know it and found that it
had chosen truly, I gave it freely, and it is gone from me forever!”
“Martha, Martha!” cried Dr. Deane, starting from his seat, “what does
all this mean?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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