This thought haunted and perplexed him, continually returning to disturb
the memory of those holy moments in the twilight dell, and to ruffle the
bright current of joy which seemed to gather up and sweep away with
it all the forces of his life. Any fate but to lose her, he said to
himself; let the shadow fall anywhere, except between them! There would
be other troubles, he foresaw,--the opposition of her father; the rage
and hostility of Alfred Barton; possibly, when the story became
known (as it must be in the end), the ill-will or aversion of the
neighborhood. Against all these definite and positive evils, he felt
strong and tolerably courageous, but the Something which evidently
menaced him through his mother made him shrink with a sense of
cowardice.
Hand in hand with this dread he went into the world of sleep. He stood
upon the summit of the hill behind Falconer's farm-house, and saw Martha
beckoning to him from the hill on the other side of the valley. They
stretched and clasped hands through the intervening space; the hills
sank away, and they found themselves suddenly below, on the banks of the
creek. He threw his arms around her, but she drew back, and then he saw
that it was Betsy Lavender, who said: “I am your father--did you never
guess it before?” Down the road came Dr. Deane and his mother, walking
arm in arm; their eyes were fixed on him, but they did not speak. Then
he heard Martha's voice, saying: “Gilbert, why did you tell Alfred
Barton? Nobody must know that I am engaged to both of you.” Betsy
Lavender said: “He can only marry with my consent--Mary Potter has
nothing to do with it.” Martha then came towards him smiling, and said:
“I will not send back your saddle-girth--see, I am wearing it as a
belt!” He took hold of the buckle and drew her nearer; she began to
weep, and they were suddenly standing side by side, in a dark room,
before his dead mother, in her coffin.
This dream, absurd and incoherent as it was, made a strange impression
upon Gilbert's mind. He was not superstitious, but in spite of himself
the idea became rooted in his thoughts that the truth of his own
parentage affected, in some way, some member of the Deane family. He
taxed his memory in vain for words or incidents which might help him to
solve this doubt. Something told him that his obligation to his mother
involved the understanding that he would not even attempt to discover
her secret; but he could not prevent his thoughts from wandering around
it, and making blind guesses as to the vulnerable point.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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