Cuthbert looked at me and I at him, and we held out our hands to each
other. Everybody was shaking hands and we were not noticed. As I felt
his strong left-handed grasp, something that was like a cloud seemed to
roll away from between us.
'It's all right now, old chap,' he said, low enough for no one but me
to hear.
So it was 'all right' from that time forth between him and me. But he
began by degrees to see that Hildred was changed, and that his fancy
the night he had come home was no mistake.
He was very patient and gentle to her, even when she was the most
changeable or cold. He never complained; only he often sat still
without speaking, with a sad look on his face.
'I must give her time,' he said to me once or twice. 'It will come
right by-and-by. I have grown strange to her. Will, I sometimes think
this is a judgment on me for the selfish way I went and left her when I
first enlisted.'
'You must wait,' I used to say.
'Oh yes, I will; I am trying to be very patient, and I believe that she
will come back to me in time.'
I don't think he ever really doubted that. His trust in her, like his
love for her, was perfect.
My father's state was reason enough for settling nothing. We all felt
it to be a time of waiting. For myself, I looked forward very little.
A merciful kind of lull and calmness had come across my life, as I
watched over my father's last days.
He died as silently as he had lived. I had wished for some spoken
word to tell me he was happy, and that the hand of the Good Shepherd
was guiding him through the valley of the shadow of death. But it was
not so to be. An upward look; a clasping of the hands; a deep 'Amen,'
uttered at the end of the prayers the vicar offered by his bed; a
smile when the most comforting of all names was spoken to him. Those
were the outward signs he gave.
For the rest, who can tell what was passing in his mind during those
silent nights and days?
The end came towards morning, after a night of storm and rain. The wind
was shaking the lattice windows and moaning round the ruins. We were
all gathered about his bed--Cuthbert and I, Matt Clifford and his wife,
and Hildred. When, towards midnight, the strange change that even those
who have seen little of death know instinctively, began to come across
his face Cuthbert went to fetch them. Everyone was quite quiet except
poor Hildred. She could not keep back her sobs, as she knelt with her
face hidden on the side of the bed.
I saw Cuthbert move round, and without speaking put his hand on her
bowed head.
All seemed unreal and far away to me, except my father's overshadowed
face and deep-drawn breath. 'He does not know anything,' said Martha
Clifford, watching him.
But as if he somehow felt the coming of the morning, he stirred and
opened his eyes, and in a thick indistinct voice he asked the hour.
I bent over and told him.
The next moment he said, 'Is it day-break?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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