The Strand Magazine, Vol. 01, Issue 02, February 1891: An Illustrated MonthlyVarious
General
The Strand Magazine, Vol. 01, Issue 02, February 1891: An Illustrated Monthly
Various
English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
The morning postman brought a letter from his wife. She was in good
spirits, and the boy was improving rapidly. Then tears--bitter, bitter
tears!--came to his relief, and he sobbed in agony. What had possessed
him? What fiend of anger and hate had entered into him to make him
commit that deed? He was aghast at the atrocious possibilities of his
own nature. He felt as if he could not look in the face of his wife
again, or again venture to take her in his arms. Would she not shrink
from him with horror when she knew? And would not his boy--his little
Jim!--when he grew up (if he ever grew up) be ashamed of the father who
had so dishonoured his name?
"Oh, my God!" he cried in his misery and grief. "Let me bear the utmost
punishment of my sin, but spare them! Punish not the innocent with the
guilty! Let my dear wife and child live in peace and honour before
Thee!"
He could not eat a morsel of breakfast--he had scarcely tasted food or
drink for two whole days--and he could not rest in the lodgings. He
wandered out with his load of misery upon him. He was a man who seldom
read the newspapers, and he did not think of buying one now, nor did it
even occur to him to scan the contents-bills set outside the
newsvendors' shops. He merely wandered on and round, revolving the
horrible business that had brought him so low, and then he wandered back
in the afternoon faint with exhaustion.
When he entered the sitting-room he saw a letter set for him on the
mantelpiece. It was from his friend at Upton, and it declared with
delight that, after the stirring debate on Thursday evening, he (Murray)
had been "unanimously elected" minister. That was the most unlooked-for
stroke of retribution! To think that he had committed his sin--nay, his
crime!--in headlong wantonness! To think that at the very moment when he
had committed it he was being elected to the place which he had believed
the young man had been chosen to fill! Bitter, bitter was his punishment
beginning to be; for, of course, he could not, with the stain of crime
on his soul if not on his hands, accept the place--not even to save his
wife and child from want!
The writer further said that it was desired he (Murray) should occupy
next Sunday the pulpit which was henceforward to be his. What was to be
done? Clearly but one thing: at all costs to occupy the pulpit on Sunday
morning, to lay bare his soul to the people who had "unanimously"
invited him, and to tell them he could never more be minister either
there or elsewhere.
He sat thus with the letter in his hand, when the door opened and his
wife came in with the boy asleep in her arms: he had omitted to write to
her since Wednesday. He rose to his feet, and stood back against the
fire-place.
"Oh, my poor dear!" she cried, when she saw him. "How terribly ill you
look! Why didn't you tell me? I felt there was something wrong with you
when I had no word." She carefully laid the sleeping child on the couch
and returned to embrace her husband.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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