The Strand Magazine, Vol. 05, Issue 27, March 1893: An Illustrated MonthlyVarious
General
The Strand Magazine, Vol. 05, Issue 27, March 1893: An Illustrated Monthly
Various
English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
"I see; and any creature who did not wish to be poisoned could take
advantage of these Acts to protect himself?"
"Certainly. The Acts would be very stringent. Let us suppose, for
example, that a certain man suspected that the butter supplied to him
was not butter at all, but a deleterious compound--well, all he would
have to do would be to go to the shop, accompanied by a guardian of the
peace, and, standing on one leg, with both hands on the counter and one
eye shut, order a pound of the butter in certain words prescribed by the
Act. He would then say to the tradesman, 'I am about to divide this
pound of butter into three equal portions for the purposes of analysis';
and, taking the butter-man's knife in his left hand, and passing it to
his right, would cut the butter into three portions exactly equal.
"After this, hermetically sealing the three portions in three jars
provided for the purpose, he would hand one jar to the tradesman, the
second to the guardian of the peace, and retain the third. Then he would
bring an action; and (provided that all the conditions had been
accurately fulfilled, without the slightest flaw) the erring tradesman
would be told by the Court not to do it again; while the complainant
would have to pay all costs, and possibly a fine; and would be sneered
at by the magistrate as a fussy idiot and a common informer.
"If, on the other hand, the complainant should omit to secure the
company of a custodian of the peace, or fail to stand on one leg with
both hands on the counter, or take the knife in his right hand first, or
should leave out the prescribed words, or blink his eye, or stammer, or
sneeze, or in any other way fail to observe the regulations of the Act;
he would, of course, have no case or remedy. The Adulteration Acts would
be extremely stringent----"
"Against the victim of adulteration?"
"Ye--es," murmured James, a little nonplussed.
[Illustration: "THE SHOP."]
"Ah--well, then, I think we can afford to ignore these Adulteration
Acts--like the adulterators and the public authorities would--and
proceed with the question of the adulteration. I had a most vivid vision
or dream of the details of this adulteration as they would be carried
out on your world at the period we are now considering. I imagined that
I was actually in a part of your world called 'America,' and that one of
your human beings politely invited me to walk through his factory and
see how things were made. I think you mentioned 'oysters'----"
[Illustration: "NO CASE."]
"Yes," said James, "that's one name the article of food would possess;
newspaper writers, however, would not recognise them by that name--they
would only know them as 'the succulent bivalve.'"
"The very idea!" exclaimed William. "That's exactly what I seemed to
have become--a newspaper writer. I fancied I went to see the factory,
and then sent in the following account:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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