The Strand Magazine, Vol. 05, Issue 28, April 1893: An Illustrated MonthlyVarious
History
The Strand Magazine, Vol. 05, Issue 28, April 1893: An Illustrated Monthly
Various
English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
Our doctor had made up his mind that something dreadful was bound to
come of the whole thing, and sneaked after them by the next train; but
when Joe caught him following them, he was so angry and furious about
it, that the doctor was afraid he would have an apoplectic fit unless he
went away as Joe commanded him to. So he retired; and subsequently
dressed himself as a rustic, and smeared his face so that he might not
be recognised, and hung about the party, offering to carry things, and
so on. But if old Joe Wilkings did not spot him after all; and got in
such a rage that the doctor thought it best to retreat while he had a
whole skin, and get back safely home.
So you see old Joe was a terrible fellow, and that determined it's awful
to think about.
[Illustration: "VERY NEARLY DROWNED."]
Well, they went on the river, and they rowed little races among
themselves; and old Ben Jumper and old Tobias Budd upset their boat,
skylarking--both of 'em being just turned eighty--and went in, and were
very nearly drowned. However, they were hauled out and made to run
about, and taken into a cottage, and rubbed down, and dressed up in
borrowed clothes; and with a good jorum of brandy-and-water apiece, why,
in half an hour they were as right as trivets, if you'll believe me!
The cold collation was a great success; and then the old boys had a
smoke, and were all as jolly as sand-boys. But, suddenly, one of 'em
looked round and said, "Why, where's old Joe Wilkings?" And after ten
minutes, when old Joe did not turn up, all those old folks began to
shake their heads doubtfully and dismally, and the old boys dropped
their pipes, and the old ladies began to weep and whinnick.
[Illustration: "OLD JOE WILKINGS--AFTER LUNCH."]
For old Joe Wilkings, being wild-like with merriment, had gone in pretty
heavily for the champagne and stuff, and had got a bit mixed, as you
might say, and he had gone off a little way to get some dry wood to make
a fire to boil the kettle over, and then he hadn't seemed to be able to
recollect which was his way back; and had wandered and wandered off in
quite the wrong direction; and at last he had got drowsy and fallen
asleep in a dry ditch with his wooden leg on the lower rail of a fence;
and then a local policeman who didn't know him had taken charge of him
and trotted him off to Winklechurch, which was the nearest village.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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