"But this is a hoax, of course, Celina?" said Miss Wheevyl. "Quite absurd and impossible!" [Illustration: "THERE WAS A TEA PARTY AT MISS CLOOT'S."] "Not in the least!" replied Miss Cloot, emphatically. "Neither absurd nor impossible. That's where you show your ignorance, Jane. Pray understand, my friends, that I am not proposing that you should all rush out to that College in New York (although Heaven knows you all need its assistance); no, you will do better by remaining where you are. Now, concerning this College. I know what you are going to say--'It doesn't exist!' Very well; what _I_ have to say is, if it doesn't exist, why----" [Illustration: "DO LISTEN!"] At this moment, unfortunately, the door of the council-chamber was suddenly shut, and we heard no more. "Mother!" said Genevieve, a week or so after, "there's a whole page of advertisement of that College of Beauty in New York! _Do_ listen: 'Ladies desirous of enrolling themselves as students at the College of Beauty are requested to send in their names at once to the secretaress, Madame Brown. The first hundred ladies will be received at the following reduced fees: Facial-Beauty Curriculum (including Eye-Enlarging, Gaze-Softening, Dimple, Ethereal-Expression, Piquancy, and other classes), 100dols. per term of twelve months.... The system having now been perfected and exhaustively tested, testimonials from LADIES WELL KNOWN IN SOCIETY, who have been rescued from VARIOUS DEGREES OF HOMELINESS and developed into BEAUTIES OF THE FIRST WATER, will be sent to all applicants. The leading transatlantic steamship companies have made special arrangements for the conveyance of parties of ladies proceeding to the College of Beauty, New York.' "Of course, it _can't_ be true, can it, mother?" said Genevieve. "Oh, dear, no, my love," said Mother. "But we will go and have a look at New York; won't we?" "Yes, I think we may as well." The booming of the College of Beauty re-echoed deafeningly from end to end of the London Press. The subject was dragged into every paragraph about everything. It was the universal topic. * * * * * Some weeks after this Jenkinson looked up Wiffler in the evening, and threw himself down in a chair with an exclamation of disgust. "Hanged if they haven't gone!" he grunted. [Illustration: "HANGED IF THEY HAVEN'T GONE!"] "Gone? Who?" said Wiffler, passing the tobacco-jar. "Why, Mrs. Jenkinson and Genevieve have gone to New York--for a change, they said; but they can't hoodwink _me_. They've gone to that College of Beauty--_that's_ where _they've_ gone! Nice state of things for me! Left all alone, as if I didn't happen to have such articles as a wife and daughter.... Where's _your_ wife? Theatre--opera?" "Not a bit of it!" replied Wiffler, gloomily. "_Gone to New York_, my friend; and _now_ I see _why_ they were so mad to go that way, although Matilda hates the sea and always gets frightfully ill. _Now_ I see!"