The Strolling Saint; being the confessions of the high and mighty Agostino D'Anguissola, tyrant of Mondolfo and Lord of Carmina, in the state of PiacenzaSabatini, Rafael
History
The Strolling Saint; being the confessions of the high and mighty Agostino D'Anguissola, tyrant of Mondolfo and Lord of Carmina, in the state of Piacenza
Sabatini, Rafael
Historical fiction; Italy -- History -- 1492-1559 -- Fiction
“The fault of it is all mine,” said she, as we sat that evening in the
gold-and-purple dining-room where we had supped.
It was with those words that she broke the silence that had endured
throughout the repast, until the departure of the pages and the
seneschal who had ministered to us precisely as in the days when
Cavalcanti had been alive.
“Ah, not that, sweet!” I implored her, reaching a hand to her across the
table.
“But it is true, my dear,” she answered, covering my hand with her own.
“If I had shown you more mercy when so contritely you confessed your
sin, mercy would have been shown to me. I should have known from the
sign I had that we were destined for each other; that nothing that you
had done could alter that. I did know it, and yet...” She halted there,
her lip tremulous.
“And yet you did the only thing that you could do when your sweet purity
was outraged by the knowledge of what I really had been.”
“But you were so no more,” she said with a something of pleading in her
voice.
“It was you--the blessed sight of you that cleansed me,” I cried. “When
love for you awoke in me, I knew love for the first time, for that other
thing which I deemed love had none of love's holiness. Your image drove
out all the sin from my soul. The peace which half a year of penance, of
fasting and flagellation could not bring me, was brought me by my love
for you when it awoke. It was as a purifying fire that turned to ashes
all the evil of desires that my heart had held.”
Her hand pressed mine. She was weeping softly.
“I was an outcast,” I continued. “I was a mariner without compass,
far from the sight of land, striving to find my way by the light
of sentiments implanted in me from early youth. I sought salvation
desperately--sought it in a hermitage, as I would have sought it in
a cloister but that I had come to regard myself as unworthy of
the cloistered life. I found it at last, in you, in the blessed
contemplation of you. It was you who taught me the lesson that the world
is God's world and that God is in the world as much as in the cloister.
Such was the burden of your message that night when you appeared to me
on Monte Orsaro.”
“O, Agostino!” she cried, “and all this being so can you refrain from
blaming me for what has come to pass? If I had but had faith in you--the
faith in the sign which we both received--I should have known all this;
known that if you had sinned you had been tempted and that you had
atoned.”
“I think the atonement lies here and now, in this,” I answered very
gravely. “She was the wife of another who dragged me down. You are the
wife of another who have lifted me up. She through sin was attainable.
That you can never, never be, else should I have done with life in
earnest. But do not blame yourself, sweet saint. You did as your pure
spirit bade you; soon all would have been well but that already Messer
Pier Luigi had seen you.”
She shuddered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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