"Thy father does thee justice. Emily, thou shouldst have been honest
with me. I am not the man that will abuse the tender heart of a maiden.
I challenge thee to speak the truth. Have I not been open-hearted with
thee? Have I stolen thy affections? My whole soul hangs yet on thee,
and never will it be able to loose itself from thee. If thou wert
unworthy of me, would I weep and lament over thee? Tell me then
candidly thy desires, and trust me that I have generosity enough to
satisfy them all, even if it cost me my life. Thou canst charge nothing
upon my honour. Thou would long ago have had thy letters, if thy father
had not demanded them. He shall not receive them, but he shall read
them if he desires it, for his own satisfaction and thy justification.
Hast thou written any thing that thou art ashamed to acknowledge? Hast
thou cause for shame? Then are we both to be pitied; thy father and I,
and thou most of all. Then shall they, to extinguish all mistrust, be
destroyed in thy presence. If I am reluctant to come into thy father's
presence, yet I will not be ashamed before him. I am wont to compel
respect, if indeed I can acquire no attachment. I can well imagine how
many disadvantageous things people will tell thee at my expense. If
thou canst believe them without examination, then, indeed, have I
expended on thee every sentiment of my heart in vain. I pity thee in
all my misery far more than myself, since I shall probably so long as I
live continue a living reproof to thee. My conduct will be thy
punishment. I assure thee, love, that I shall never lose thee out of my
soul. I have with no other maiden stood in a nearer relationship. Thou
art the only one that has firmly fixed herself in my heart. Go whither
thou wilt, I shall bear thee with me to the grave. Thirty years hence
thou wilt most probably hear from me exactly the same tone, if thou art
by any circumstance reminded of me.
"Emily, thou shouldst have dealt more honestly with me. By God! I would
have sacrificed every thing for thee. Wilt thou be happy when at thy
wedding I sing a song of sorrow, that my friends may weep with me?
"Emily, I pray thee, for God's sake, by the happiness that thou yet
hopest, be worthy of thyself: I cannot believe any thing bad of thy
heart. Be the friend of thy father, if thou canst no longer be my
beloved. If my kiss has not ennobled thee, then am I an outcast, or
thou a creature without mind. Do nothing--nothing secret. What I did
was done on thy account; otherwise I walk ever in the light. For my
sake, also, show this letter to thy parents; I will not, when occasion
requires it, conceal from them that I have written this letter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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