His mind drifted, and his thoughts soon brought him to dwell on
Christian Lutz’s life and his own. He had just run into Christian, who
was here on his honeymoon. To a certain point their lives had run
parallel. First at the Franciscan school, at the Lyceum, at Goettingen,
at Berlin and—there it stopped. Christian was now married, with a
government position affording him a livelihood, while he—Albert—was
nowhere. Always promises—one friend had promised him to intercede with
one of the influential men in Berlin to get him a position with the
government—but there were nothing but promises in sight. He really did
not know himself what would best suit him. He liked the idea of a
professorship. He had many ideas about literature and philosophy and
felt that he could teach something to the young at the university. But
then a government position—a magistrate or judge—would likewise please
him. He loved the Germans even though he detested the Prussian
government—he always felt that individually the Germans possessed noble
virtues, but collectively they were Prussian—and he felt that as a
magistrate, or in any capacity as a public official, he could deal out
justice tempered with kindness. But so far only promises . . .
III.
Still waiting for the promises to be fulfilled he returned to his
parents for a while, made a short stop at Berlin, and went again to
Hamburg in the early winter. Every time he returned to Hamburg it was
with mingled feelings of regret and expectancy. This time he hoped that
the Hamburgers would appreciate him. He was no longer Leopold Zorn’s
nephew but Doctor Zorn and a poet of repute. Even his enemies admitted
that he had genius for lyric verse. And he had just made arrangements to
have his first book of travel published, and the publisher had said he
might consider the publication of a collection of his scattered songs
that had appeared in various periodicals. True, the publisher had
promised no pay for the poems but Albert felt confident that it would
bring him renown; and the Hamburgers would no longer regard him as a
mere idler. This time he meant to be dignified. He would enter in no
controversies with his critics.
Before long, however, he realized that it was useless for him to settle
down there. Uncle Leopold had made this clear to him at a stormy meeting
between the two. But he had no other place to go to.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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