This was pleasant and pretty. Gundred’s instincts found it blankly
empty and chilling. He meant to be so warm, but a month ago such an
advance as hers would have been very differently met. Then he had
thought her cold, had been for ever calling upon her to thaw. Now he
hardly appeared to notice whether she was warm or cold, despite his
manifestations of enthusiasm. Now it was he that was frozen, and she
might thaw, it seemed, in vain. Had her melting come too late?
‘Wouldn’t you?’ she answered slowly. ‘Are you really sure you wouldn’t?
Kingston,’ she went on in a low voice, ‘I do so want to do and say what
you like.’ She hesitated and broke off, seeking piteously for words
that should salve her pride in its downfall.
He could not understand that her seriousness demanded the tribute
of a serious answer in return. He gave her another of those easy
protestations which sounded so well, and yet, as she felt, meant so
little.
‘You always do,’ he replied, ‘always and always. You can’t tell how
much pleasure you give us, Gundred.’
Against this geniality, so smooth, so superficial, she felt horribly
powerless. There seemed no way, any longer, of piercing to her
husband’s notice, of spurring him up to sincerity. And that casual ‘us’
shut the door against her so finally.
‘Ah,’ she answered in a tired tone, her smile tinged with tragedy. ‘You
say such delightful things. But I do feel I am not clever enough for
you.’
‘It is not cleverness one wants,’ he said. ‘It is just you. You, and
only you. You are exactly perfect. One doesn’t criticize and say you
are not this and that. You are just You.’
She knew that he no longer criticized. But what he thought loyalty
she felt to be lack of interest. The ardour of his words awoke now
no answering ardour of conviction in her mind. As for Kingston, an
emotion of pure pity stirred him. This charming, dear little woman, how
awfully much, after all, he owed her. He believed that he could only
pay his debt to her by redoubling the formal warmth of his words. The
more pitiable he found her, the more he intensified the eagerness of
compliment that was his atonement at once to her and to himself, that
eagerness which she found so void and cold. ‘Dear pretty lady,’ he
said, ‘you should never have foolish little doubts. Don’t you realize
that nobody’s husband was ever so happy in the world before?’
She knew it. And she feared that she counted for nothing in that
happiness of his. Her hands dropped, her voice grew chilly in its
hopelessness. ‘Such a comfort--yes?’ she answered. ‘I am glad you are
so happy, Kingston. I hoped you would be.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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