It was not here, not amid these faint voices crying what the listeners
wanted to hear, not amid these dim ghosts of bygone passion that his
own still living, throbbing passion could hope to come once more into
contact with Isabel. He pitied his fellow-seekers, but he stood aloof
from them. Sorrowing for the intensity of their false joy, he could
gain from their cult no sustenance for his own hunger. His hunger was
not as theirs, and the beloved fallacies that supported them could
give no nourishment to him. He saw that their quest was false, their
methods a mere sop flung to their own desire. Gradually Kingston
withdrew himself from their company. The spiritualistic world, after
all, held no solid help or conviction for him. He passed away into
everyday life again, and went back to his quiet expectancy at Gundred’s
side. Sooner or later the wonderful thing would happen, sooner or later
the holy mystery of separation stand revealed, but no unlawful human
methods could avail to hurry the processes of God. They of little faith
might make for themselves a world of phantoms in which to worship a
phantom; he must persevere alone, waiting patiently for what was to
come. Gladly, if he could, would he have found satisfaction in the
hollow solace invented by his fellow-seekers, but as his nature, as
his more exalted perceptions, could not allow him any such makeshift
consolation, the sooner he quitted so unwholesome and unsatisfactory a
life the better. At least, he had the comfort of feeling that he had
left no method untried, had not neglected any possible chance. But
the alley into which he had strayed had been found blind, a short cut
towards the Great Nowhere. He must return into the broad, beaten track
of life, and go steadfastly forward, in confidence that somewhere, some
day, he should inevitably meet again his lost companion.
CHAPTER XV
‘Dear Jim,’ said Gundred, ‘how happy he sounds!’ She folded up her
son’s letter again, and put it deftly back into its envelope. He wrote
to her once a week without fail from school, a neat, colourless letter,
breathing duty and regard. To his father the boy wrote as the mood took
him--careless, untidy epistles about the topic of the moment. ‘Another
cup of tea, dear?’ she asked her husband, smiling at him across the
table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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