Kingston promised vaguely to give his wife’s messages. Then Gundred
passed on her way to interview the cook, and complete arrangements
for the effectual dazzling of the mothers from Kensington and Campden
Hill. Left alone, her husband took refuge for a moment or two in
dreamland. This life of his, orderly, decorous, colourless, with
Gundred superintending its details, and seeing that its food was good
and hot--this life of his was not a real life at all. It was a vapour,
a phantom, having no part in the true life of his soul. His body moved
on its appointed course from breakfast through the day to bed, bandying
banalities with its tongue, looking out on Gundred’s world with amiable
eyes; but he himself, the real man, belonged to a remoter world. In
strange, far-off lands he roamed, seeking that which for a time was
lost; the gorgeous, sombre mysteries of life and death were about his
head, shedding a glamour of ecstasy on the secret byway that he was
treading. How Gundred would stare, what pious sillinesses would she
not utter, if for a moment--if only for the smallest fragment of a
moment--her eyes could be unsealed to see the magic tangle of visions
in which her husband was wandering, all the while that his earthly
gaze was fixed on her, his earthly ears politely attentive to her
talk, his earthly stomach contentedly absorbing the food that she made
it her daily duty to provide. Dressed, brushed, washed, and fed, the
simulacrum of her husband passed through the world at her side, but the
thing she walked with was a changeling; the man she loved and looked
after was the mere shell of a stranger--of a stranger whose eyes were
fixed on the immensities, whose ears received her words as jargon in
a tongue unknown, whose whole life was passed in that world of reality
whose shadows now and then are cast across this life of ours that we
call real, in the glimpses of what we call a dream. Little, visible,
tangible, clear was the life that Gundred thought the true; vast,
illimitable, without end or beginning was that enormous infinite where
the soul of Kingston ceaselessly went seeking for the lost.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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