"Because his mother and the uncle, wishing to marry and mount the throne, killed Hamlet's father. Hamlet passed his youth haunted by thoughts of revenge and how he could punish the two sinners." "It was clever of Shakespeare to let the father do the haunting and leave to Hamlet the _rôle_ of a guileless and sentimental youth; the authorities do not agree as to whether Hamlet was really a fool or only pretended to be one." "Fool he certainly was not," I replied. "He was clever enough to play the part of one, and he played it so well that no one, even at that time, could make out what he really was." "Then," declared M. de W., "Shakespeare got that part of it right--perhaps you will concede that much. How about Hamlet's grave? Surely there is no humbug about that? I have seen it myself. Has it been there since two hundred years B.C.?" "Hamlet's grave at Helsingör is an interesting bit of imagination. A unique instance of inaccuracy on the part of the Danes! Hamlet lived to be king in his little land and was buried where he died--if he ever lived--as an Irishman would say." "How confusing you are," said my opponent. "You destroy my dearest illusions--I, who adore Shakespeare's Hamlet." "I adore Shakespeare's Hamlet, too, but I do not adore Saxo's. Hamlet's love for his father was the only redeeming point about him. Did you know that he married the daughter of the King of England?" "Shakespeare only mentions Ophelia, and we are led to believe that Hamlet died unmarried." "Well," I answered, "if Saxo is right, he was married, had lots of children, and continued the dynasty till _dato_." "Go on! You interest me." "He made himself very disagreeable at home with his silly talk and his hatred of the King and the Queen. In a conversation he had with his mother he flung away all disguise and also hurled some unpleasant and extremely unvarnished truths full in the maternal face." "That does not speak well for him," said Mr. de W. "To get rid of him," I continued, warming to my subject, "the Danish court sent him to the English court with a nice letter of introduction, and at the same time sent a letter to the King of England, begging him to have Hamlet killed somehow or other, but clever Hamlet stole and read the letter and killed the messenger himself." "That shows he was no fool," acknowledged M. de W. "The King of England gave him a fine dinner, and I think the English court must have opened its eyes when Hamlet pushed away the food, saying it was '_too bad to eat_.' He told them that the bread tasted of dead men's bones and the wine of blood, and, worst of all, that the Queen was not a born lady. When the court asked with one voice how he dared breathe such an insult he answered that there were three things that proved that what he said was true." "It would amuse me to know what the three things were," said M. de W.