I must own, my story here and there flagged a good deal; perhaps there
were faults in my reading, for while I should have been attending to
nothing but how to give the words effect as they existed, I was feeling
the chilling consciousness, that they might have been, and ought to have
been, a great deal better. However, we kindled up at last when we got to
the East Indies, although on the mention of tigers, an old lady, whose
tongue had been impatient for an hour, broke in with, “I wonder if Mr.
Croftangry ever heard the story of Tiger Tullideph?” and had nearly
inserted the whole narrative as an episode in my tale. She was, however,
brought to reason, and the subsequent mention of shawls, diamonds,
turbans, and cummerbands, had their usual effect in awakening the
imaginations of the fair auditors. At the extinction of the faithless
lover in a way so horribly new, I had, as indeed I expected, the good
fortune to excite that expression of painful interest which is produced
by drawing in the breath through the compressed lips; nay, one Miss of
fourteen actually screamed.
At length my task was ended, and the fair circle rained odours upon me,
as they pelt beaux at the Carnival with sugar-plums, and drench them
with scented spices. There was “Beautiful,” and “Sweetly interesting,”
and “O Mr. Croftangry,” and “How much obliged,” and “What a delightful
evening,” and “O Miss Katie, how could you keep such a secret so long?”
While the dear souls were thus smothering me with rose leaves, the
merciless old lady carried them all off by a disquisition upon shawls,
which she had the impudence to say, arose entirely out of my story. Miss
Katie endeavoured to stop the flow of her eloquence in vain; she threw
all other topics out of the field, and from the genuine Indian, she made
a digression to the imitation shawls now made at Paisley, out of real
Thibet wool, not to be known from the actual Country shawl, except by
some inimitable cross-stitch in the border. “It is well,” said the old
lady, wrapping herself up in a rich Kashmire, “that there is some way of
knowing a thing that cost fifty guineas from an article that is sold for
five; but I venture to say there are not one out of ten thousand that
would understand the difference.”
The politeness of some of the fair ladies would now have brought back
the conversation to the forgotten subject of our meeting. “How could
you, Mr. Croftangry, collect all these hard words about India?--you were
never there?”--“No, madam, I have not had that advantage; but, like
the imitative operatives of Paisley, I have composed my shawl by
incorporating into the woof a little Thibet wool, which my excellent
friend and neighbour, Colonel Mackerris, one of the best fellows who
ever trode a Highland moor, or dived into an Indian jungle, had the
goodness to supply me with.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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