British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
"You have sung very sweetly to me, dear Mrs. Allonby, and, after all,
I must have been a horrid nuisance----"
"You certainly were. But my husband, poor man, has to reckon with me
for that."
"Mine was not the easiest position; to act companion anonymously----"
"And be taken for a spy, a conspirator----"
"And thief----"
"No, no; but that miserable man of mine pays the bill for _all_. And
when you marry, dear Miss Somers, take my advice; keep him well in
hand, but never let it come to a long sulk. Whatever it is, have it
out with him at once and have done with it."
In the meantime, Madame Bontemps, all unsuspicious of what was
coming, was sitting peacefully in the office, casting up the columns
of the weekly bills with one part of her sane and practical mind, and
gloating in memory over her powerful remarks of the morning in the
garden with another; while with a third she threw out staccato
commands and observations to M. Bontemps, who was placidly smoking a
cigarette over his _Petit Niçois_ on the sofa, when a tall,
clean-shaven, respectable Briton, with a keen, unflinching eye, and
the usual British air of holding a subject universe in fee, walked in
and bid her good evening in excellent French.
"This is without doubt Madame Bontemps," he said, introducing himself
as the husband of a lady staying in the house, a Mrs. Arthur Allonby,
and handing her his card, on reading which all Madame's bristles
rose, and she prepared herself for the battle she felt to be imminent
and also pregnant with victory to her side. Politely, but sadly, she
desired her guest to be seated in a chair handed him at a sign from
her by M. Bontemps, who smiled pleasantly to himself, expecting to be
agreeably diverted by the forthcoming combat.
But Mr. Allonby, declining the chair, much to Madame's regret, as she
found it easier to heckle opponents sitting than standing, began to
address her sternly but gently, more in sorrow than anger, and always
with that air of surprised dignity and unabated command. He had been
led to suppose, he said very politely, that Les Oliviers was an
exceptionally well-managed and high-class hotel, else, as Madame
might easily surmise, he would never have selected it for the
temporary sojourn of his wife while waiting till he would be able to
join her. What, then, was his astonishment on learning that Mrs.
Allonby had actually been requested to leave the house? Such a thing
was outrageous, unheard-of, and must be apologized for without delay.
"Now for the fun!" reflected Monsieur, languidly adjusting a fresh
cigarette, while Madame promptly seized her chance of returning fire,
and turning about with expansive gestures and fluent delivery, poured
in a steady and powerful broadside calculated to silence the
Englishman's guns and shatter his forces beyond recovery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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