British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
But the sudden spectacle of the thin man across the road biding the
pelting of a pitiless storm of confetti from three several silken
dominos at once, with bent head and a face of resigned anguish, was
so joyous that Ermengarde forgot her momentary desire to murder
Dorris; and when Mr. Welbourne had taken refuge in such flight in an
opposite direction as his infirmity permitted, the temporary blinding
and partial choking of Miss Boundrish, who had received a dexterous
handful while enjoying a hearty, but unconcealed, yawn, further
blunted the edge of her murderous desires, and made her offer Eau de
Cologne instead of poison, with whole-hearted enjoyment of the
damsel's spluttering indignation and vehement assertions that she was
poisoned.
"In that case," it was suggested, "best take an emetic at once," a
proposition received with scorn and fury, and further declarations
that she was blinded for life, and wondered why there were no gens
d'armes, and considered that the least Mrs. Allonby could have done
was to give the beast into custody, and she wished she had brought
her father.
"But you can't give a large green frog on the top of a mountain on
wheels into custody, dear Miss Boundrish--Oh! pff!"
It was now Ermengarde's turn to be pelted by a Cyrano de Bergerac,
whose enormous nose was in striking contrast to his slender, elastic
figure. The Cyrano, who had been one of the party in the carriage
whence the serpent with the letter in its tail was thrown to Agatha,
soon tired of raining paper on to a steadily held sunshade, and went
away, finding better sport in a silken domino, one of a group walking
in the road, who showed fight gallantly, revealing a pair of dark
eyes flashing with spirit and challenge. After a sharp engagement,
the domino's ammunition having run out, she turned and ran, pursued
and stopped by the Cyrano, who pelted her unmercifully in the face,
even holding a fold of the domino and spirting the confetti under it
to make her uncover, till at last he brought her to bay just under
the side of the stand, off the street.
"Beast!" muttered Ermengarde, her indignation intensified by the
English accent of the unchivalrous Cyrano. She would actually have
rushed to the assistance of the wronged lady, but that help came from
another quarter in the shape of a crocodile, which suddenly descended
in a series of astonishingly agile leaps from the very top of the
great, shell-shaped car of crocodiles, that was lumbering by, and,
seizing the Cyrano de Bergerac by the scruff of his neck, shook him
like a rat till he was forced to let go the lady, just as she slipped
the domino back, discovering the indignant, tearful face and blazing
eyes of Mlle. Bontemps. This revelation was evidently more
discomfiting to the Cyrano than the furious assault of the crocodile,
from the slit-open throat of which glared the face of M. Isidore,
white with fury.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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