The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
“The bar 'peered s'prised to see me standin' ready for him in the
openin'; for it war currently reported 'mong his brethren that I war
either dead, or no use for bar. I thought fust he war skeered; and, Doc,
I b'leve he war, till he cotch a sight of my wooden leg, and that toch
his pride, for he knew he would be hist outen every she bear's company,
ef he run from a poor, sickly, one-legged cripple, so on he cum, a small
river of slobber pourin from his mouth, and the blue smoke curlin outen
his ears. I tuck good aim at his left, and let drive. The ball struck
him on the eyebrow, and glanced off, only stunnin' him for a moment,
jes givin' me time to club my rifle, an' on he kum, as fierce as old
grizzly. As he got in reach, I gin him a lick 'cross the temples,
brakin' the stock in fifty pieces, an' knockin' him senseless. I struv
to foller up the lick, when, Doc, I war fast--my timber toe had run
inter the ground, and I cuddent git out, though I jerked hard enuf
almost to bring my thigh out of joint. I stuped to unscrew the infurnal
thing, when the bar cum too, and cum at me agen. Vim! I tuck him
over the head, and, cochunk, he keeled over. H-ll! but I cavorted and
pitched. Thar war my wust enemy, watin' for me to giv him a finisher,
an' _I cuddent_ git at him. I'd cummense unscrewin' leg--here cum
bar--vim--cochunk--he'd fall out of reach--and, Doc, _I cuddent git to
him_. I kept work-in' my body round, so as to unscrew the leg, and keep
the bar off till I cood 'complish it, when jes as I tuck the last turn,
and got loose from the d------d thing, here cum bar, more venimous than
ever, and I nude thar war death to one, out, and comin' shortly. I let
him get close, an' then cum down with a perfect tornado on his head,
as I thought; but the old villin had learnt the dodge--the bar-rel jes
struck him on the side of the head, and glanst off, slinging itself out
of my hands bout twenty feet 'mongst the thick cane, and thar I war in
a fix sure. Bar but little hurt--no gun--no knife--no dogs--no frens--no
chance to climb--an' _only one leg that cood run_. Doc, I jes cummenst
makin' 'pologies to ole Master, when an idee struck me. Doc, did you
ever see a piney woods nigger pullin at a sassafras root? or a suckin'
pig in a tater patch arter the big yams? You has! Well, you can 'magin
how I jarkt at that wudden leg, for it war the last of pea-time with me,
sure, if I didn't rise 'fore bar did. At last, they both cum up, bout
the same time, and I braced myself for a death struggle.
“We fit all round that holler! Fust I'd foller bar, and then bar would
chase me! I'd make a lick, he'd fend off, and showin' a set of teeth
that no doctor, 'cept natur, had ever wurkt at, cum tearin' at me! We
both 'gan to git tired, I heard the boys and dogs cumin', so did bar,
and we were both anxshus to bring the thing to a close 'fore they cum
up, though I wuddent thought they were intrudin' ef they had cum up some
time afore.
[Illustration: frontispiece2]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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