The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
This was personal--every body said it was personal--the lanky member
said it must be wiped out with blood--the storekeeper swore that John
must “eat the other fellar's gizzard,” and the ladies of B--------
resolved, at a tea party, that the death of the lower town editor could
alone atone for the many indignities he had heaped upon them, and John
was the very man to offer himself up as a sacrifice. All the subscribers
to the Eagle were interested in the matter, for they would gain in
any event, as how: If the lower town editor was removed, an enemy had
perished; if John fell, a creditor's accounts were closed, so they were
unanimous for a duel. The lanky member informed John of the general
opinion of the public as to what he should do, and urged the sending of
a challenge forthwith, which he offered to bear. John intimated that
he must have a day to practise before he sent the missive, and this was
acceded to as prudent, but bowie knives were recommended by his friend
as much the safest and sure means of killing.
Our hero seated himself in the Eagle office that night, where the ghost
of his departed greatness visited his waking thoughts, to laugh at his
present misery. Of his one hundred and fifty dollars, but twenty-five
remained--his clothes were nearly worn out--his board bill unpaid--his
subscriptions and advertisements ditto, and the supply of paper and ink
was insufficient for another issue, besides a duel on hand with another
poor devil of an editor, and the whole town thirsting for the bloody
transaction. A thought flashed upon his brain--he would go see
his antagonist. No sooner was the idea conceived than he put it in
execution. Gathering up his remaining twenty-five dollars he set off in
the night for the lower town, where he arrived about daylight. After a
hasty breakfast at the inn, he entered the “Herald office,” and seating
himself upon the only chair in the establishment, inquired for the
editor. A little pale man, engaged at case, lay down his composing stick
and advanced, expecting a new subscriber, but started to run as soon
as he was informed that the editor of the “Eagle” was before him. John
stopped his egress and made him sit down while he talked to him. A
conversation brought on mutual apologies, and he found his antagonist
as great a sufferer as himself--the mere hack of county politicians, who
had been lured by the same phantom--greatness, until he had worn himself
to a corresponding shadow, chasing the vision. The two typo editors
shook hands in friendship, and our hero departed homeward.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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