The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
|This odd character has lately favored the west with a visit, and during
two successive evenings he edified audiences, numbering about a thousand
persons, in the rotunda of the St. Louis court-house. Some took him
for the _Wandering Jew_, and as he inveighed against the evils of these
modern days, they looked at him with a feeling of awe. One day opposite
the Planter's house, during a military parade, George was engaged
selling his edition of the “Advocate of Truth,” when a tall hoosier, who
had been gazing at him with astonishment for some time, roared out in an
immoderate fit of laughter.
“What do you see so funny in me, to laugh at?” inquired George.
“Why, hoss,” said the hoosier, “I wur jest a thinkin' ef I'd seed you
out in the woods, with all that har on, they would a been the d--dest
runnin' done by this coon ever seen in them diggins--you're ekill to the
_elephant!_ and a leetle the _har_-yest small man I've seen _scart_ up
lately.”
A sight at George, on his western tour, has brought to my recollection
an anecdote, which entitles him to a place in our collection of odd
characters;--it occurred several years since, in Philadelphia, and the
writer was an eye witness of the occurrence.
George's favorite neighborhood for “holding forth,” was in and about the
famous old “State House,” where, bare-headed--with unshorn beard, and
adorned with a simple wooden cross, he, in a few moments, would collect
a crowd. At length the police arrested him, for obstructing the passage,
and George was sent to the Alms-House. In a few days, he escaped from
the institution, and, boiling with indignation, hastened back to his old
haunt, to lay his grievances before the people. Having provided himself
with a couple of gimlets, he entered the building, raised the
large window above the back entrance, and, placing himself on the
old-fashioned entablature over the door-way, (the same spot where the
Declaration of Independence was read from,) he shut down the window
behind him, securing himself from interruption by boring his gimlets
through the sash, into the frame. Then, with much solemnity, he
proceeded to paraphrase the “Declaration,” applying it to his own
particular case. The scene was truly ludicrous. Below, was one of the
high constables and an assistant policeman, together with a numerous
crowd of curious hearers.
“When, in the course of human events”--began George.
“Will you come down from there?” demanded the constable.
“A long train of abuses and takings up without authority,--”
“Aint you a comin'; now?--if you don't I'll bring you,” threatened
authority.
“Our mayor, like the kings of old, set upon us swarms of corrupt and
drunken officers to put the prophets of truth into pestilential abodes.”
“Now, do, George, stop your lingo--that's a good fellow,” said the
officer, coaxingly, seeing that the usual means of reaching the offender
were cut off; “and come down without bother.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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