The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
_How are you?_--You have published my letter, and I am glad to see that
nigger Molly cannot smother my cry to the public--if I don't give her
_scissors_, it will be because she smothers me outright. You must know
Molly keeps two bottles filled with liquid, one of which she administers
to me, and the other to herself, and they both have about the same
effect, only hers smells worst. Hers she calls _whiskey_, mine
_cordial_. The other morning Molly set me down on the floor, beside
a pan of water, and commenced taking comfort from her bottle, and I,
feeling feverish, commenced comforting myself by dabbling in the pan
until I was all wet; Molly perceiving this picked me up to _slap_ me,
but her cordial floored her. I should have been glad of this, only she
nearly killed me in her fall, and because I screamed, as any baby would
do, she clapped her black lips to mine, smelling horribly as they were
of whiskey, and kept in my breath until I was as black in the face as
herself. I yelled at this double outrage, and she silenced me by pouring
a double dose of _cordial_ down my throat, which threw me into a state
of insensibility, from which I awoke almost dead. My mother asked to see
me, and when she heard me moaning, she said “the ittle bessed dear
is suffering wis its too-sys.” I aint suffering with my teeth--I'm
suffering with nigger Moll's nursing.
Bub.
NO. III.--BUB RESCUED.
_Hello, boys_:--Flourish trumpets! merrily beat your drums--I'm a saved
_sucker!_ A day of hope and promise has shed its light upon my infantile
head, and bright visions of a pair of small breeches to be worn by me,
float airily round my head--they appear plain and palpable in the
vista of the future--buttons, pockets, suspenders and all--_vive
la pantalons!_ The other morning my Pa drew forth the copies of the
Reveille from his book case, and commenced reading them for Ma's
amusement. Suddenly he cast his eye on my letters, and straight he
commenced them--he laughed, and then Ma laughed, and then I crowed. By
and by, as he proceeded, Ma began to look angry; she cast a glance at
me, and then her conscience smote her--I was wasted to a shadow--on
went Pa with the letters; Ma wept, I crowed, and nigger Molly gave me a
_pinch_--a yell followed and the clouds burst!
“Give me that child, you hateful jade, you; how dare you hurt it?” cried
Ma.
“Please God, I didn't do nuffin ob de sort, missus; I'd do any thin
else, missus, dan hurt de baby,” answered Moll.
“Get out of my sight, you hussy!” cried my enraged mamma; “you have
nearly killed de bessed ittle pet--mamma's dear, bess its heart--get out
of my sight; if ever you touch it again, I'll punish you severely.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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