They were aroused from their slumber by the return of the committee, which, through their chairman, Augustus Vinton, reported the following resolutions: _Resolved_, That babies are, and of right ought to be, natural-born _suckers_. _Resolved_, That the introduction of negro nurses among white babies was a _dark_ era in infantile history. _Resolved_, That all artificial efforts, in regard to babies, are no go, and that the old fashion defies the ingenuity of Yankeedom to improve on it. _Resolved_, That “being born with a silver spoon in your mouth” is a good thing, but an unlimited chance at the _titty_ is a better. _Resolved_, That all anti-nursing mothers are undeserving of lively husbands. _Resolved_, That we look with feelings of compassion upon those who have _adopted_ children. _Resolved_, That _Bub_ deserves a _silver pap spoon_, and shall have one. These resolutions having been unanimously adopted by the meeting, it was-- On motion of O. M. Ridgely, seconded by Edward 'Shade, adjourned. A general call was now made for refreshments, which anxious mothers promptly supplied. Yours, Bub. SETH TINDER'S FIRST COURTSHIP, HOW HIS FLAME WAS QUENCHED! |You knew Seth Tinder,--No?--“git eout!”--you did know Seth, every body knew him, and they couldn't help it, for Seth would know every body. He was, perhaps, the “cutest critter,” in some things, that ever calculated the success of a notion expedition, and he was among the first of his genus that ever strayed, on such an expedition, as far west as St. Louis. If you really didn't know Seth, it is time your ignorance was enlightened. Seth was remarkably cute at driving a bargain--that was an innate propensity; Seth was inquisitive, and frequently looked into hall doors, and peeped into kitchen windows--that was Yankee human nature; Seth winked at the girls--that was an acquired habit; he resolved to possess one--that was a _calculation_. Now, this winking at the girls, when performed by a handsome individual, is looked upon as a matter of course; but Seth was so notoriously ugly, that his wink was an outrage, and his overtures of love, perfect atrocities. His short, bow-legged figure was thatched with the most obstinate bunch of carroty hair that ever bid defiance to bear's oil, and the windows of his mind as the eyes are poetically styled, appeared looking intently at the tip of his nose, as if apprehensive that, ere long, it would burst into a blaze. A kind of half-burnt-prairie garnished his chin, which would have made a very warm looking goatee, if Seth could have transplanted it all to one spot; but there lay the difficulty, for though cute at driving a bargain,' he could make none with nature--she made him ugly without his consent, and wouldn't agree to any alteration. Seth, nevertheless, would wink at the girls.