The Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great InvasionWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Boy Scouts -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Imaginary wars and battles -- Fiction; Satire
A slight mist had risen as early as four o'clock on Saturday. By
night-fall the atmosphere was a little dense, but the lamp-posts were
still clearly visible at a distance of some feet, and nobody,
accustomed to living in London, would have noticed anything much out of
the common. It was not till Sunday morning that the fog proper really
began.
London awoke on Sunday to find the world blanketed in the densest,
yellowest London particular that had been experienced for years. It was
the sort of day when the City clerk has the exhilarating certainty that
at last he has an excuse for lateness which cannot possibly be received
with harsh disbelief. People spent the day indoors and hoped it would
clear up by tomorrow.
"They can't possibly fight if it's like this," they told each other.
But on the Monday morning the fog was, if possible, denser. It wrapped
London about as with a garment. People shook their heads.
"They'll have to put it off," they were saying, when of a
sudden--_Boom!_ And, again, _Boom!_
It was the sound of heavy guns.
The battle had begun!
* * * * *
One does not wish to grumble or make a fuss, but still it does seem a
little hard that a battle of such importance, a battle so outstanding
in the history of the world, should have been fought under such
conditions. London at that moment was richer than ever before in
descriptive reporters. It was the age of descriptive reporters, of
vivid pen-pictures. In every newspaper office there were men who could
have hauled up their slacks about that battle in a way that would have
made a Y.M.C.A. lecturer want to get at somebody with a bayonet; men
who could have handed out the adjectives and exclamation-marks till you
almost heard the roar of the guns. And there they were--idle,
supine--like careened battleships. They were helpless. Bart Kennedy did
start an article which began, "Fog. Black fog. And the roar of guns.
Two nations fighting in the fog," but it never came to anything. It was
promising for a while, but it died of inanition in the middle of the
second stick.
It was hard.
The lot of the actual war-correspondents was still worse. It was
useless for them to explain that the fog was too thick to give them a
chance. "If it's light enough for them to fight," said their editors
remorselessly, "it's light enough for you to watch them." And out they
had to go.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account