That I might do credit to his taste, I was to be most superbly
brilliant; and Sir William desired to see my jewels. He objected to
their manner of being set, though they were quite new-done when he
married. But now these were detestable, horridly _outré_, and so
barbarously antique, that I could only appear as Rembrandt's Wife, or
some such relic of ancient history. As I had promised to be guided by
him, I acquiesced in what I thought a very unnecessary expense; but was
much laughed at, when I expressed my amazement at the jeweller's saying
the setting would come to about two hundred pounds. This is well worth
while for an evening's amusement, for they are now in such whimsical
forms, that they will be scarce fit for any other purpose. And oh! my
Louisa! do you not think I was cut to the soul when I had this painful
reflection to make, that many honest and industrious tradesmen are every
day dunning for their lawful demands, while we are thus throwing away
hundreds after hundreds, without affording the least heartfelt
satisfaction?
Well, at last my dress was completed; but what character I assumed I
know not, unless I was the epitome of the folly of this world. I thought
myself only an agent to support all the frippery and finery of
_Tavistock-street_; but, however, I received many compliments on the
figure I made; and some people of the first fashion pronounced me to be
quite the thing. They say, one may believe the women when they praise
one of their own sex, and Miss Finch said, I had contrived to heighten
and improve every charm with which Nature had endowed me. Sir William
seemed to tread on air, to see and hear the commendations which were
lavished on me from all sides. To a man of his taste, I am no more than
any fashionable piece of furniture or new equipage; or, what will come
nearer our idea of things, a beautiful prospect, which a man fancies he
shall never be tired of beholding, and therefore builds himself an house
within view of it; by that time he is fixed, he hardly remembers what
was his motive, nor ever feels any pleasure but in pointing out its
various perfections to his guests; his vanity is awhile gratified, but
even that soon loses its _goût_; and he wonders how others can be
pleased with objects now grown familiar, and, consequently, indifferent
to him. But I am running quite out of the course. Suppose me now
dressed, and mingling with a fantastic groupe of all kinds of forms and
figures, striving to disengage my eyes from the throng, to single out my
Sylph. Our usual party was there; Miss Finch, Lady Barton, a distant
relation of her's, the Baron, Lord Biddulph, and some others; but it was
impossible to keep long together. Sometimes I found myself with one;
then they were gone, and I was _tête-à-tête_ with somebody else; for a
good while I observed a mask, who looked like a fortune-teller, followed
me about, particularly when the Baron and Miss Finch were with me. I
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