"Hush, Madam, hush," cried he with the most provoking coolness, "your
raving will but expose you to the ridicule of your domestics. You are at
present under too great an agitation of spirits to attend to the calm
dictates of reason. I will wait till your ladyship is in a more even
temper. When I receive your commands, I will attend them, and hope the
time will soon arrive when you will be better disposed to listen to a
tender lover who adores you, rather than to seek to irritate a man who
has you in his power." Saying which, he broke from her, leaving her in a
state of mind, of which you, Madam, I sincerely hope, will never be able
to form the slightest idea. With what a weight of woe she stole up into
her bed-chamber, unable to bear the eye of her domestic! How fallen in
her own esteem, and still bending under the penalty of her bond, as
neither prayers nor tears (and nothing else was she able to offer) could
obtain the release from the inexorable and cruel Lord L.
How was her anguish increased, when she heard the sound of her Lord's
footstep! How did she pray for instant death! To prevent any
conversation, she feigned sleep--sleep, which now was banished from her
eye-lids. Guilt had driven the idea of rest from her bosom. The morning
brought no comfort on its wings--to her the light was painful. She still
continued in bed. She framed the resolution of writing to the destroyer
of her repose. She rose for that purpose; her letter was couched in
terms that would have pierced the bosom of the most obdurate savage. All
the favour she intreated was, to spare the best of husbands, and the
most amiable and beloved of men, the anguish of knowing how horrid a
return she had made, in one fatal moment, for the years of felicity she
had tasted with him: again offered her alimony, or even her jewels, to
obtain the return of her bond. She did not wish for life. Death was now
her only hope;--but she could not support the idea of her husband's
being acquainted with her infamy. What advantage could he (Lord L.)
propose to himself from the possession of her person, since tears,
sighs, and the same reluctance, would still accompany every repetition
of her crime--as her heart, guilty as it now was, and unworthy as she
had rendered herself of his love, was, and ever must be, her husband's
only. In short, she urged every thing likely to soften him in her
favour. But this fatal and circumstantial disclosure of her guilt and
misfortunes was destined to be conveyed by another messenger than she
designed. Lord D--, having that evening expected some one to call on
him, on his return enquired, "if any one had been there." He was
answered, "Only Lord L." "Did he stay?" "Yes, till after
eleven."--Without thinking of any particularity in this, he went up to
bed. He discovered his wife was not asleep--to pretend to be so, alarmed
him. He heard her frequently sigh; and, when she thought him sunk in
that peaceful slumber she had forfeited, her distress increased. His
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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