"The one amazing thing which had horrified him inexpressibly during the case was the fact that his learned brother Counsel, Mr. Gentle Gammon, had so far forgotten his professional dignity as to declare that this Lion actually moved and spoke at times. He feared, and also he lamented, that his learned brother must be approaching his dotage. Yet in order to satisfy each and every one in Court, he, Mr. Dreadful, had sent an urgent and special messenger for a first-class veterinary surgeon, having the letters M.R.C.V.S. after his name, and also for one of the keepers belonging to the lions' house in the Zoological Gardens. Their evidence would now be taken." Upon the appearance of the M.R.C.V.S. in the witness-box the Learned Judge saw fit to interfere. _Judge_. "Have you ever attended a lion professionally?" _M.R.C.V.S._ "Never, your Lordship." _Judge_ (sagaciously). "Then what do you know about them?" _M.R.C.V.S._ "I have attended other animals, your Lordship." _Judge_. "Very likely, very likely, but a live ass is a different thing to a dead lion." (Laughter in Court.) _Counsel_ (for the Defendant). "_Better_ than a dead lion, your Lordship." (More laughter.) _Judge_. "Not in this case." (Loud laughter.) "The learned Counsel for the Defence need not waste the time of the Court in hearing the opinion of either Veterinary Surgeons or experts from the Zoo. What the Learned Counsel ought to do is to produce Pygmalion." (Titters in Court.) Mr. Dreadful, K.C., rising to protest. "My Lud, Pygmalion is a mythical personage, and your Ludship knows he is of a necessity shrouded in silence." _His Lordship_. "So is the Lion." (Laughter in Court.) _Mr. Dreadful_ (still exploding and still protesting). "My Lud, I do venture to suggest that this Lion should somehow be thoroughly examined." _His Lordship_. "Well, it is in Court, better try for yourself. I only hope your efforts will be as successful as Little Ridgwell's and his sister Christine, to say nothing of the Lord Mayor of London." _Mr. Dreadful_. "My Lud, I cannot treat with these people, it is like dealing with the worshippers of Baal." _His Lordship_. "Well, I really cannot sanction digging a trench and lighting fires all round it here in my court, to make it speak." (Loud laughter.) After the laughter had somewhat subsided a slight stir was occasioned in Court by the appearance in the witness-box of Mr. Learned Bore. In reply to many questions from Mr. Dreadful, K.C., Mr. Learned Bore stated all the incidents in Trafalgar Square which he had witnessed, and which had given rise to the present action. Cross-examined by Mr. Gentle Gammon-- "You are a famous playwright, Mr. Learned Bore," commenced Counsel. "I am a playwright." "Do you write to instruct or to amuse?" "It is possible to combine both." "Can you give me an example?" "Yes, this afternoon's experience in Court." "Wonderful as that may have been, Mr. Bore, I suggest you have not written it."