He had no more gone to Helsingfors in the last year’s autumn than he had
gone there now. What should John Briggs, obscure and demobilized able
seaman, have to do in Helsingfors? Why the elaborate falsehood? He
shrugged his shoulders and made a helpless gesture with his elbows. The
obsession again. The quietude of Medlow had got on his nerves. He had to
break away, to seek fresh environment. He had invented Helsingfors; it
was dramatic, in his romantic past; it kept up, in the direct mind of
Blaise Olifant, the mystery of Alexis Triona; and it gave him freedom.
He had spoken truth as to his vagabond humour. He loved the eternal
change of the broad highway. The Salvation Yeo inspiration had persisted
ever since he had run away from home to the El Dorado beyond the seas.
Had he been set down in a torpid household, no matter how princely,
sooner or later he would have revolted and have fled, smitten with the
wander madness. But the Prince, the nomadic Tartar atavism asserting
itself, suffered too much from this unrest; and in their mighty
journeyings through Russia, up and down, north and south, east and west,
and in the manifold adventures and excitements by the way, the young
chief mechanic found the needful satisfaction of his cravings. On
leaving Medlow he had started on a tramp, knapsack on back, to the north
of Scotland, stopping at his mother’s house, _en route_, and had reached
the John o’ Groats whither, on an eventful day, Olivia had professed
herself ready to accompany him. She had little guessed how well he knew
that long, long road. . . . Yet, when he met Blaise Olifant again, and
was forced to vague allusion to his mythical travels, he almost
persuaded himself that he had just arrived from Finland.
But now had come an irreparable shifting of psychological values. He
could not return to Olivia, eating her heart out for news of him, and
persuade himself that he had been to Helsingfors. The lie had been
facile enough. How else to account for his absence? His attendance at
his mother’s death-bed had been imperative: to disregard the summons had
never entered his mind. Yet simple avowal would have been pulling down
the keystone of the elaborate structure which, to her, represented
Alexis Triona. The parting lie had been easy: but the lie on his
return—the inevitable fabrication of imaginary travel—that would be
hatefully difficult. For the first time since he had loved her he was
smitten with remorse for his deception and with terror of her discovery.
He could not sleep of nights aching for her, shivering with dread at the
possibility of loss of her, picturing her alone in the sweet, wind-swept
house, utterly trustful and counting the long hours till he should come
again. Still, thank God, this was the last time they would be parted.
His mother had been the only link to his John Briggs past.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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