“London. A hotel. Any old branch.” She smiled. “I must settle down
somewhere sooner or later. The sooner the better.”
“That’s monstrous,” he declared with a flash in his eyes. “To turn you
out of your home—I should feel a scoundrel.”
“I don’t see how we can go on living together, carrying on as usual, as
though nothing had happened.”
For a few moments they walked up the gravelled path in silence, both
bareheaded in the mild May sunshine.
“Listen,” he said, coming to a pause. “I’m a man who has learned
self-control in three hard schools—my Scotch father’s, science, war. If
I swear to you, on my honour, that nothing that has passed between us
to-day shall ever be revived by me in look or word or act—will you stay
with us, and give me your—your friendship—your companionship—your
presence in the house? It was an aching desert all the time you were
away.”
She walked on a pace or two, after a hopeless sigh. Could she never
drive into this unworldly head the fact that women were not sexless
angels? How could their eyes forever meet in the glance of a polite
couple discussing the weather across a tea-table? She could not resist a
shaft of mockery.
“For all of your philosopher father and science and war—I wonder, my
dear Blaise, how much you really know of life?”
He halted and put a hand on her slim shoulder.
“I love you so much my dear,” said he, “that I should be content to hang
crucified before you, so that my eyes could rest upon you till I died.”
He turned and strode fast away. She followed him crying “Blaise!
Blaise!” He half turned with an arresting arm—and even at that moment
she was touched by the pathos of the other empty sleeve——
“No, don’t—please.”
She ran hard and facing him blocked his way.
“But what of me? What of my feelings while I saw you hanging crucified?”
That point of view had not occurred to him. He looked at her
embarrassed. His Scottish veracity asserted itself.
“When a man’s mad in love,” said he, “he can’t think of everything.”
She took his arm and led him up the gravelled path again.
“Don’t you see, dear, how impossible it all is?”
“Yes. I suppose so. It must be one thing or the other. And all that is
good and true and honourable makes it the other.”
Tears came at the hopelessness of it. She seized his hand in both of
hers.
“What you said just now is a thing no woman could forget to the day of
her death.”
She kissed the hand and let it drop, stirred to the inmost. What was
she, ineffectual failure, to command the love of such a man? He stood
for a while looking into the vacancy of the pale blue sky over the
ivy-clad wall. Before her eyes garden and house and wall and sky were
blotted out; and only the one tall figure existed in the scene. Her
heart beat. It was a moment of peril, and the moment seemed like an
hour.
At last he turned and looked at her with his grave smile. She put her
hand on her heart not knowing whether to cry or laugh at the relaxation
of tension.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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