But Morgan was a master of the strategy of surprise. His jaw did not
drop in stricken amazement. His left hand, holding the glove just drawn
from the right, did not clench in dramatic tensity. His eyes did not
even smoulder into that suppressed rage which mischievously she used to
tease into them for the pleasure of seeing them snap.
If anything, the prominent out-thrust of the clean-cut jaw was less
emphatic than usual, and the girl felt the sinking helplessness of one
who, keyed to a hard battle, launches the attack and encounters no
opposition.
Morgan had seen the wild, almost irrational, terror of her eyes, and
they had silenced argument. For once he recognized a defeat that he
could avoid only by an ungenerous victory to which he could not bring
himself, and he had no reproach because he could see that, in her effort
to perform her promise, she had goaded herself to the breaking point.
His face showed every thoroughbred and manly quality of its blood as he
inquired, with as great a deference as though her sudden announcement
came with entire reasonableness: "Are you sure--you can't?"
When she had nodded her head miserably, Morgan argued his cause. He
talked with a quiet and earnest eagerness but without reproach, as if he
were for the first time pleading his love.
But the arguments held nothing new. She herself had lain awake at night
repeating them until they were like parrot reiterations. They interposed
no answer to the monstrous fact that a marriage which she faced in such
unwillingness would be a thing that divorced the heart from the body.
That she had so long beguiled herself into believing it possible, filled
her now with self-scorn, but to the untimeliness of her decision he
offered no protest.
They talked, all things considered, with surprising calmness, and at
length Morgan glanced down and, seeing on the table near his hand the
plans for the house they had meant to build, picked them up absently,
glanced at them and tossed them back. It was the gesture of accepting a
finality.
"I suppose, Anne," he said, with a rather more than merely decent
assumption of whatever fault existed, "I've refused to see the truth
because I was blindly selfish, but I couldn't seek to hold you--if it
costs you both happiness and self-respect." He paused and then added. "I
ask only one thing, now. Don't make this decision final. Think it over
for three months--"
"Morgan dear," she interrupted in a gasping voice, "for more than three
months, I've thought of nothing else."
"I know." The gentleness of his speech was the more telling by its
contrast with his aggressive habit of self-assertion. "But you were
thinking then with a sense of being bound. Complete freedom may make a
difference. At least leave me that hope."
"I'm afraid," she faltered, "I'm very certain."
"Anyway," he reminded her, as he forced a rueful smile, "it will be
easier to tell your mother in that fashion. She is on my side, you
know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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