The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married CoupleMarsh, A.
General
The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married Couple
Marsh, A.
Marriage
Here you may see Master Empty-belly takes the greatest delight in the
World, nobly to treat some Northern Gentlemen of his acquaintance and
Pot-companions, and then again to be treated by them: where there is
an absolute agreement made, that when any one of them gets mony from
their Parents, he shall give the company a treat of five Guinnies. And
though they generally observe, that before they part, one quarrel or
other arises, and the Swords drawn; yet this Law is inviolabler, than
ever any Statutes of Henry the VIII. were. Which continued so long
till one of them be desperately wounded or killed, and he that did it
apprehended; and to the great greef of his Parents tried for his life,
or else flies his Country, to save it.
Others we may see, that have no greater pleasure then to sit whole
nights with their Companions playing at Tables; and there game away
Rings, Hats, Cloaks and Swords, &c. and then ply one another so close
with whole bumpers of Sack and old Hock, that they are worse then
senceless beasts, feeling and groping of the very Walls, and tumbling
and wallowing to and fro in their own nastiness. And esteem it to be a
Championlike action if one can but make the t'other dead drunk by his
voracity of sucking in most. As if they intended hereby to become
learned Doctors.
Some again are most horribly addicted to frequent the pestilential
Bawdy-houses; of which they are never satisfied, till mony, cloaths,
books, and their own health of body is consumed; and then come home to
their Parents soundly peppered.
Some there are that oftentimes so deeply ingage themselves with their
Landlords daughters, that they can answer to her examination without
the knowledge either of their Parents or Doctors, and are fit for
promotion in the Art of Nature. But if the Landlady hath never a
daughter of her own, there's a Neece or Neighbors daughter, which
knows how to shew her self there so neatly, that with her tripping and
mincing she makes signals enough, that at their house Cubicula locanda
is to be had. And these are the true Divers, that know infinitely well
how to empty the Students Pockets.
Thus doth every one act their parts. Whilest the Parents are
indeavouring to gather and scrape all together that they can, that
their Son, who is many times the onliest or eldest, may go forward in
his study, and become perfect in one Faculty. And the more, because
they see that he is sharp-witted, and according as his Doctor saith, a
very hopefull young man. Little thinking that he makes as bad use of
those natural benefits, as he is lavish of his mony.
But it is a common saying that the London-youths must have their
wills. Which oftentimes occasions, that when they have studied a long
time in Divinity, they finally turn to be some Inns of Court
Gentlemen; fearing that their wild Students life, might in any other
vocation, be cast in their teeth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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