The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married CoupleMarsh, A.
General
The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married Couple
Marsh, A.
Marriage
Thus they stuff one anothers pates full. And Mistriss Sayall, and
Goody Busiebody, seem to be as if they were sisters cast in one Mould;
for the one knows how to blow the simple wenches ears full; and the
t'other, worse then a Bawd, makes them cross-grain'd; and keep both
of them a school for ill-natured Wenches, and lazy sluts, to natter,
to exhort, and to exasperate in; yet these half Divel-drivers, carry
themselves before the Mistresses like Saints; but do indeed, shew
themselves to be the most deceitfullest cheats, who carry alwaies fire
in one hand and water in the t'other.
These know how, very subtlely, many times, to fatten their carkasses,
with meat and drink out of the Mistresses Cellars and Butteries;
keeping alwaies a fair correspondence with the theevish Maids, which
know many tricks and waies how to convey it unto them; and scold and
brawl against those whose stoln meat and drink they thus idly and
basely convey away. These use again all possible indeavours to
recommend them here or there to a sweetheart, and make their own
houses serve as an Exchange for this Negotiation; where they appear as
precise at their hours, as a Merchant doth at Change-time.
This it is, that makes them look like a Dog in a halter, when they
cannot get leave on Sundaies to go a gadding; and it is a wonder they
do not bargain for it when they hire themselves: though there are some
that are not ashamed, (who dare not so openly confess this) to bargain
that they may go every Sunday to Church, as if they were extraordinary
devout, when it is really to no other end, then to set out their gins,
to catch some Tailor, Baker, Shoomaker, Cooper, Carpenter, Mason, or
such like journyman: which is hardly passed by to satisfie their
fleshly lusts, before they perceive that they have chosen a poor and
wretched for a plentifull livelihood; and are often, by their
husbands, beaten like Stockfish, though Lent be long past. But what
delight they have, in being curried with this sort of five-tooth'd
Comb, the neighbours can judge by the miserable songs they sing.
These find also the Pleasures of Marriage, at which they have so long
aimed, and so much indeavoured for; and would now gladly lick their
fingers at that which they have many times thrown away upon the
Dunghills, or in the Kennels; falling many times into deplorable
poverty, or to receive Alms from the Churchwardens and charitable
people; of which there are vast numbers of examples, too lamentable
and terrible to be related.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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