"MY LITTLE DIANA--my precious child,--It may be--it will
be--years before this reaches you. I have made your father
promise to let you grow up without any knowledge or reminder
of me. It was difficult, but at last--he promised. Yet there
must come a time when it will hurt you to think of your
mother. When it does--listen, my darling. Your father knows
that I loved him always! He knows--and he has forgiven. He
knows too what I did--and how--so does Sir James. There is no
place, no pardon for me on earth--but you may still love me,
Diana--still love me--and pray for me. Oh, my little
one!--they brought you in to kiss me a little while ago--and
you looked at me with your blue deep eyes--and then you
kissed me--so softly--a little strangely--with your cool
lips--and now I have made the nurse lift me up that I may
write. A few days--perhaps even a few hours--will bring me
rest. I long for it. And yet it is sweet to be with your
father, and to hear your little feet on the stairs. But most
sweet, perhaps, because it must end so soon. Death makes
these days possible, and for that I bless and welcome death.
I seem to be slipping away on the great stream--so
gently--tired--only your father's hand. Good-bye--my precious
Diana--your dying--and very weary
"MOTHER."
The words sank into Diana's young heart. They dulled the smart of her
crushed love; they awakened a sense of those forces ineffable and
majestic, terrible and yet "to be entreated," which hold and stamp the
human life. Oliver had forsaken her. His kiss was still on her lips. Yet
he had forsaken her. She must stand alone. Only--in the spirit--she put
out clinging hands; she drew her mother to her breast; she smiled into
her father's eyes. One with them; and so one with all who suffer! She
offered her life to those great Forces; to the hidden Will. And thus,
after three days of torture, agony passed into a trance of ecstasy--of
aspiration.
* * * * *
But these were the exaltations of night and silence. With the returning
day, Diana was again the mere girl, struggling with misery and nervous
shock. In the middle of the morning arrived a special messenger with a
letter from Marsham. It contained arguments and protestations which in
the living mouth might have had some power. That the living mouth was
not there to make them was a fact more eloquent than any letter. For the
first time Diana was conscious of impatience, of a natural indignation.
She merely asked the messenger to say that "there was no answer."
Yet, as they crossed London her heart fluttered within her. One moment
her eyes were at the window scanning the bustle of the streets; the next
she would force herself to talk and smile with Muriel Colwood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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